Joke i read... wanted to share...

eshamas21 · 03-02-2006, 03:56 AM

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends
$5,000
and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at
a
news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk,
"I
hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," is the reply.

"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl
the
very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29."

The woman replies, "Nope I'm 50."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store
on
her way down the street She goes up to the counter to get some mints
and
asks the clerk this burning question.

The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next
to
her the same question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I
was
young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very
forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then,
and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best
of
her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around
very
slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast...He gently
pinches
each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each
other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am
I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and
says,
"Madam, you are 50."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you
tell?'

The old man says, "promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't." she says.

"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

davinet78 · 03-02-2006, 08:08 AM

thats a very good one

Enroutte · 03-02-2006, 01:19 PM

haha lame. what a pervert.

sdorn · 03-02-2006, 01:29 PM

Funny.

RGRAY · 03-02-2006, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enroutte

haha lame. what a pervert.

You must be a women.

That's pretty good.

romeo26 · 03-02-2006, 07:43 PM

hahahahaaha too funny

e90rocks · 03-02-2006, 08:11 PM

That's a variant of this joke

Woman in dementia unit of nursing home says to man:
I can guess your age by feeling you balls.

Man: No f*in way.
Woman: Sure I can. I can tell exactly.
Man: Bet you $20
Woman: you're on. Drop em.
Man (dropping pants) Go ahead.
Woman (fondling balls): You're 84 and 3 months.
Man (Pulling up pants): Holy cow! How did you know (handing her $20 bill).
Woman: You told me yesterday.

longtran · 03-03-2006, 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by e90rocks

That's a variant of this joke

Woman in dementia unit of nursing home says to man:
I can guess your age by feeling you balls.

Man: No f*in way.
Woman: Sure I can. I can tell exactly.
Man: Bet you $20
Woman: you're on. Drop em.
Man (dropping pants) Go ahead.
Woman (fondling balls): You're 84 and 3 months.
Man (Pulling up pants): Holy cow! How did you know (handing her $20 bill).
Woman: You told me yesterday.

he can remember he is 84 and 3months old but cant remember wha he said yesterday??

RGRAY · 03-03-2006, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by e90rocks

That's a variant of this joke

Woman in dementia unit of nursing home says to man:
I can guess your age by feeling you balls.

Woman (fondling balls): You're 84 and 3 months....

Why would a women want to fondle an 84 year old man's balls.

The old man knew what he was doing.

e90rocks · 03-03-2006, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by longtran

he can remember he is 84 and 3months old but cant remember wha he said yesterday??

Actually demented people can always remember their birthdate. It's what they had for breakfast they can't remember.
I guess she did the math.

Demented women probably remember their anniversary, something many men of sound mind have trouble remembering...

Heard this one on the Sat Radio..
Pressman: Mr. Reagan, during your presidency, was it boxers or briefs?
R Reagan (thinking): Depends...

vladinecko · 03-03-2006, 03:32 PM

Brunotheboxer · 03-03-2006, 08:15 PM

monsta · 02-26-2007, 04:25 PM

Lmfao Rofl

SpecC · 02-27-2007, 02:10 AM

what a gamble!

Last E92 M3 · 02-27-2007, 09:21 AM

hahaha that was funnny LOL

ALPINE6SPD · 03-08-2007, 03:59 PM

thats really good

E90330iS · 04-24-2007, 10:47 PM

Hahahaha.

03-02-2006, 03:56 AM	#1
eshamas21 First Lieutenant 37 Rep 390 Posts Drives: '06 330i Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: So. California iTrader: (0)	Joke i read... wanted to share... A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29." The woman replies, "Nope I'm 50." Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you." While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are." They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast...He gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?" He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50." Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?' The old man says, "promise you won't get mad?" "I promise I won't." she says. "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
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03-02-2006, 08:08 AM	#2
davinet78 Lieutenant Colonel 28 Rep 1,832 Posts Drives: bmw e90 320d Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: gibraltar(europe) iTrader: (0) Garage List 2005 bmw 320d E90 [0.00]	thats a very good one __________________ e90 320d,arktis,lumber support, hifi speaker, alarm, dakota beige, 162 18", xenon with washer spray,window chrome trimmings, professional radio, 6 cd changer wood trimmings 6 speed manual.
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03-02-2006, 01:19 PM	#3
Enroutte Private First Class 172 Rep 160 Posts Drives: ;D Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Undecided. iTrader: (0)	haha lame. what a pervert.
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03-02-2006, 01:29 PM	#4
sdorn Lieutenant 27 Rep 491 Posts Drives: 2006 Jet Black 325i Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Atlanta iTrader: (0)	Funny. __________________ 2008 Sparkling Graphite 535i 2009 Land Rover LR2 2003 Porsche 911 Turbo (SOLD) 2006 Jet Black 325i (SOLD) 2001 Bullitt Mustang (450rwhp - SOLD)
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03-02-2006, 07:43 PM	#6
romeo26 First Lieutenant 44 Rep 354 Posts Drives: e30 325 (no lette) Join Date: May 2005 Location: anaheim, cali iTrader: (0)	hahahahaaha too funny
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03-02-2006, 08:11 PM	#7
e90rocks Myrmidon 19 Rep 236 Posts Drives: Entwicklung 90 - 325 Xi Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Pittsburgh, PA iTrader: (0) Garage List 2006 325 xi [0.00]	Age That's a variant of this joke Woman in dementia unit of nursing home says to man: I can guess your age by feeling you balls. Man: No f*in way. Woman: Sure I can. I can tell exactly. Man: Bet you $20 Woman: you're on. Drop em. Man (dropping pants) Go ahead. Woman (fondling balls): You're 84 and 3 months. Man (Pulling up pants): Holy cow! How did you know (handing her $20 bill). Woman: You told me yesterday.
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03-03-2006, 03:32 PM	#11
vladinecko Brigadier General 299 Rep 3,924 Posts Drives: '11 E92 M3 Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Bay Area, CA iTrader: (1) Garage List 2011 BMW M3 [9.00] 2008 BMW 335i [0.00] 2006 BMW 330i [0.00] 1994 BMW 325i [0.00]	__________________ 2011 E92 M3 - IB/Beige/Sycamore Wood/6MT/EDC/ZPP2/Nav/PDC/Heated Seats/iPod-USB/Enh. Audio 2008 E92 335i - Montego Blue/Black/Gray Poplar/6MT/ZPP/ZSP/Nav/PDC/Heated Seats/HDRadio/iPod-USB - *Sold* 2006 E90 330i - Mystic Blue/Black/Aluminum/6MT/ZPP/iDrive/PDC/Heated Seats/Sat. Prep - *Sold* 1994 E36 325i - Boston Green/Beige/Automatic/ZPP/Heated Seats/Premium Sound - *Sold*
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03-03-2006, 08:15 PM	#12
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02-26-2007, 04:25 PM	#13
monsta Brigadier General 224 Rep 3,589 Posts Drives: E92 M3 Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Bergen County, NJ/Y.O, NY iTrader: (2)	Lmfao Rofl
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02-27-2007, 02:10 AM	#14
SpecC Completely obsessed with detailing 305 Rep 15,441 Posts Drives: E90 SG 330i, white Scion tC Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: San Francisco and Davis iTrader: (4)	what a gamble!
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02-27-2007, 09:21 AM	#15
Last E92 M3 Lieutenant Colonel 34 Rep 1,507 Posts Drives: BMW M3 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia iTrader: (0)	hahaha that was funnny LOL
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03-08-2007, 03:59 PM	#16
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04-24-2007, 10:47 PM	#17
E90330iS Major General 148 Rep 6,333 Posts Drives: BMW M4 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Arcadia, California iTrader: (56) Garage List 2006 330i [0.00]	Hahahaha. __________________ 2017 BMW M4 DCT Lease Transfer: https://f80.bimmerpost.com/forums/sh...8#post23736398
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