[CANGRKE70]

I once dated a girl for 2 months who thought I was from New Zealand. I had to change my voicemail to keep up the charade. It ended badly. :P

[Banana Hammock]

Last night, I dreamt about going to the car wash. The hell is wrong with me?

[ASBSECU E93]

I once left a scathing review of customer service in the general E9X M forum...

[Wolf]

I dont fuck around at work ?

[EL Jeffe 5]

Every time a bird shits on my car I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my porch to show them what I am capable of.

[natedog7700]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

I screwed a lady cop to get out of ticket like Lil wayne.

Video or it didn't happen!

[natedog7700]

Originally Posted by CANGRKE70

I pretend to sleep on the Subway then give up my seat...I'll sometimes fake snore to add to the ruse.

I once acted insane on a bus by rocking back and forth and using my fingers in a chop stick motion catching flies and told the passenger sitting next to me that "I sometime clip my toenails and then bake a cake, put them in and eat it." In my defense, he smelled like some serious BO first thing in the morning. Instant free seat for the rest of the 20 minute ride. One guy figured it out, and before getting off the bus looked at me and said, "well played sir, well played."

I hope your kidding. Man I don't know what to believe in this thread anymore, its got so out of hand lol

[natedog7700]

Well I might as well share a story that's only been told a hand full of times! It was july fourth and me and my girlfriend (now ex) started to escalate in my grandma's basement. Things got out of hand and the next thing I knew, I grabbed some lube I found in a drawer, put it on and started having great sex until things started to get "stuck". I read the label on the "lube" to find out it was super glue..... It wasn't a good day to say the least.

[Sidewinderpb]

[Taskmaster]

I tire of people quickly.

[Aatish]

I once dreamt of a cabbage being dropped into a bowl of milk. I awoke in a cold sweat once the milk splashed in my face. I then proceeded to iron my socks at 3am.

[smoosh]

The last few months, I've gone on dates with amazing/beautiful women with absolutely no intention of getting into a relationship. I take them out, learn about them, have fun, then, right when I feel we're getting to the point where we'd decide whether we want to get into a relationship, handwrite them a poem about them, send it to em, and cut it off.

Never speak to them again.

It's kinda fun, tbh lol.

[Banana Hammock]

I once dreamt that I had my armpit hair highlighted and braided.

[PoorLurker]

Originally Posted by duck fat

I once dreamt that I had my armpit hair highlighted and braided.

Plot Twist: Duck Fat has no body hair...


I just realized that you have a very funny name if you switch the first two letters in each word.

[Axius]

It was me that farted in line at Walmart, not the old lady behind me that I scowled at.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Axius

It was me that farted in line at Walmart, not the old lady behind me that I scowled at.

I blame the dogs.

I hate most of my friends. I can't stand being social.

I'm seriously thinking about going back to university now, and I I know the spouse is gonna love this. At 33 I think I may have a clue what I would love to do in my life.

Great!

[Axius]

Originally Posted by Lups

I blame the dogs.

I hate most of my friends. I can't stand being social.

I'm seriously thinking about going back to university now, and I I know the spouse is gonna love this. At 33 I think I may have a clue what I would love to do in my life.

Great!

I used to always blame the animals, now that there are none around, I have to blame surrounding people and make a disgusted look in their direction. Seems to work, for now.

Go back to uni, learn things, if you know what you want to do, grab it by the balls and run with it. If I'm not mistaken though, uni is a social environment..., blah

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Axius

I used to always blame the animals, now that there are none around, I have to blame surrounding people and make a disgusted look in their direction. Seems to work, for now.

Go back to uni, learn things, if you know what you want to do, grab it by the balls and run with it. If I'm not mistaken though, uni is a social environment..., blah

I have five years of sitting there behind me, so I'd need to figure out if I could get any of my credits transferred. Though I've been lucky in life and my business and finance studies have worked for me, I think social work field would be more my thing for the real life job. I can stand addicts and disabled people and old folks but fml if I have to hang out with finance dudes.

[Axius]

Originally Posted by Lups

I have five years of sitting there behind me, so I'd need to figure out if I could get any of my credits transferred. Though I've been lucky in life and my business and finance studies have worked for me, I think social work field would be more my thing for the real life job. I can stand addicts and disabled people and old folks but fml if I have to hang out with finance dudes.

I don't see any reason why they wouldn't, although its locationally dependent. Transferring to Wake only a handful of mine would have, so it'd be taking back steps.

Ugh finance. When I see Biorin and ASBSECU talk about capital gains, inland revenue, amortizations, ratio analysis, and such makes my head spin.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Axius

I don't see any reason why they wouldn't, although its locationally dependent. Transferring to Wake only a handful of mine would have, so it'd be taking back steps.

Ugh finance. When I see Biorin and ASBSECU talk about capital gains, inland revenue, amortizations, ratio analysis, and such makes my head spin.

Lol, that all is fine but it's too damn social. I can't picture myself sitting in meetings. I'd rather be in a booth never talking to anyone or in the field.

[Axius]

Originally Posted by Lups

Lol, that all is fine but it's too damn social. I can't picture myself sitting in meetings. I'd rather be in a booth never talking to anyone or in the field.

You could be a toll booth attendant! Plus, think of all the Audi's you would be able to spit on!

[Banana Hammock]

Originally Posted by Axius

It was me that farted in line at Walmart, not the old lady behind me that I scowled at.

On the topic of farting. One time at Costco, some butt nugget stole my parking spot so I spent half an hour hunting him down and crop dusting him through an entire aisle.