Chuck Norris FACTS (not jokes, facts)

Uber V8 · 08-31-2012, 12:32 PM

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck wasn't an actor in the Expendables 2, he just happened to be there.

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris had a F10 M5........in 2007

Add your Chuck Norris facts...

Hey Ant · 08-31-2012, 12:37 PM

Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard... he jus has another fist.

Uber V8 · 08-31-2012, 12:45 PM

Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died

Simsims · 08-31-2012, 01:31 PM

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

whip_lash · 08-31-2012, 01:35 PM

LOL these are hilarious... never gets old.

Uber V8 · 08-31-2012, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simsims

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Every once in a blue moon, Chuck Norris is known to visit people in their dreams at night when they post links to his website....it's not a pleasant visit.

Too bad tonight will be a blue moon.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/0...n_1718517.html

KwlAznKid · 08-31-2012, 01:50 PM

lol at f30 m5

ErvGotti · 08-31-2012, 03:04 PM

They say if you play Stairway To Heaven backwards you can hear Chuck Norris banging your mom

markham335i · 08-31-2012, 03:19 PM

chuck norris can slam a revolving door.

escobar929 · 08-31-2012, 03:28 PM

Chuck Norris doesnt teabag women, he potato sacks them

PINeely · 08-31-2012, 03:55 PM

Uber V8 · 08-31-2012, 04:49 PM

^^ i lol'd hard.

Bakeme521 · 08-31-2012, 05:11 PM

Any girl that has sex with chuck norris and is on top, immediately becomes part of the mile high club.

Chuck norris puts gravel instead of soap on his slip n slide.

Augenbrauezug · 08-31-2012, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FwdFtl

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck wasn't an actor in the Expendables 2, he just happened to be there.

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris had a F30 M5........in 2007

Add your Chuck Norris facts...

lmao, and here i was thinking I had heard all the chuck norriss facts.

Wolf · 08-31-2012, 05:36 PM

Can somebody give me a history lesson as to why does every once in a while somebody creates a thread on Chuck Norris facts? I mean what's the story behind all this? Please bear with my ignorance and enlighten me, I am not American.

!JGunz_325 · 08-31-2012, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf

Can somebody give me a history lesson as to why does every once in a while somebody creates a thread on Chuck Norris facts? I mean what's the story behind all this? Please bear with my ignorance and enlighten me, I am not American.

Because he checks this forum regularly and Chuck forbid there's not a thread about him... It would be bad news for everybody

khaye1 · 08-31-2012, 06:31 PM

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer...too bad he doesn't cry

kevinbahnz · 08-31-2012, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf

Can somebody give me a history lesson as to why does every once in a while somebody creates a thread on Chuck Norris facts? I mean what's the story behind all this? Please bear with my ignorance and enlighten me, I am not American.

This has been going on for years and I still don't know the history behind it. I think I heard it on one of the late night shows but I forgot..

Uber V8 · 08-31-2012, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf

Can somebody give me a history lesson as to why does every once in a while somebody creates a thread on Chuck Norris facts? I mean what's the story behind all this? Please bear with my ignorance and enlighten me, I am not American.

Just take a look at this guy....this guy plays no MF'n games.

*don't look too long though, or you might resemble Chuck Norris permanently*

Wolf · 08-31-2012, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FwdFtl

Just take a look at this guy....this guy plays no MF'n games.

*don't look too long though, or you might resemble Chuck Norris permanently*

LOL but seriously though how did it start?

passing · 08-31-2012, 08:57 PM

chuck norris has already been to mars. that's why there are no signs of life.

Uber V8 · 08-31-2012, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by !JGunz_325

Because he checks this forum regularly and Chuck forbid there's not a thread about him... It would be bad news for everybody

He's actually a moderator.....for the world wide web

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf

LOL but seriously though how did it start?

I honestly don't know.

Anybody know the answer?

08-31-2012, 12:32 PM	#1
Uber V8 Volcano Knuckles 416 Rep 491 Posts Drives: 2017 Camaro SS 1LE Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Los Angeles iTrader: (1)	Chuck Norris FACTS (not jokes, facts) When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris. Chuck wasn't an actor in the Expendables 2, he just happened to be there. Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone. Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move. Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories. Chuck Norris had a F10 M5........in 2007 Add your Chuck Norris facts... Last edited by Uber V8; 09-01-2012 at 04:14 AM..
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08-31-2012, 12:37 PM	#2
Hey Ant Colonel 143 Rep 2,284 Posts Drives: E90 M3 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: 818 Los Angeles iTrader: (18)	Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard... he jus has another fist.
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08-31-2012, 12:45 PM	#3
Uber V8 Volcano Knuckles 416 Rep 491 Posts Drives: 2017 Camaro SS 1LE Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Los Angeles iTrader: (1)	Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
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08-31-2012, 01:31 PM	#4
Simsims Captain 37 Rep 615 Posts Drives: 119/220 Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Ottawa iTrader: (0)	http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ __________________ VO 1M - everything except sunroof RIP BSM 135i 2009-2011
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08-31-2012, 01:35 PM	#5
whip_lash Lieutenant 16 Rep 446 Posts Drives: '15 M3 Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Toronto iTrader: (3)	LOL these are hilarious... never gets old.
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08-31-2012, 01:50 PM	#7
KwlAznKid Brigadier General 378 Rep 3,037 Posts Drives: BMW/MERCEDES/PORSCHE Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Los Angeles/Fremont USC/UCSD Alum iTrader: (6)	lol at f30 m5 __________________ BMW E93 M3 / Mercedes Benz W209 CLK500 BMW E64 650I(sold) / BMW E92 328I(sold) / BMW E46 M3(sold) / BMW E92 335I(sold) Porsche 996 911 C2(sold) / BMW E46 325CI(totaled)
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08-31-2012, 03:04 PM	#8
ErvGotti Major 122 Rep 1,360 Posts Drives: 2008 135i 6MT Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Aviano iTrader: (5) Garage List 2008 135i [6.00]	They say if you play Stairway To Heaven backwards you can hear Chuck Norris banging your mom
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08-31-2012, 03:19 PM	#9
markham335i Lieutenant 61 Rep 540 Posts Drives: 07 335i Join Date: May 2010 Location: Toronto, Markham iTrader: (0)	chuck norris can slam a revolving door. __________________ Upgrades: <Cobb V3, DCI, BMS downpipes, ER charge pipe, Forge DV, bbs ch-r, 30%tint all around, bmw performance exhaust, umnitza V4 angel eyes>.....Next upgrades (I would like):intercooler, BBK, turbo upgrade....etc....
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08-31-2012, 03:28 PM	#10
escobar929 Brigadier General 154 Rep 4,528 Posts Drives: M2 CS Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Hollywood, FL iTrader: (14) Garage List 2020 M2 CS [10.00] 2020 M240i [0.00]	Chuck Norris doesnt teabag women, he potato sacks them
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08-31-2012, 03:55 PM	#11
PINeely Lieutenant Colonel 1080 Rep 1,912 Posts Drives: 2013 535i, 2015 Tundra 1794 Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Jackson, MS iTrader: (2)
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08-31-2012, 04:49 PM	#12
Uber V8 Volcano Knuckles 416 Rep 491 Posts Drives: 2017 Camaro SS 1LE Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Los Angeles iTrader: (1)	^^ i lol'd hard.
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08-31-2012, 05:11 PM	#13
Bakeme521 Some say... 250 Rep 4,296 Posts Drives: Fresh Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Baton Rouge n NOLA iTrader: (12) Garage List 2007 BMW 335i [8.24]	Any girl that has sex with chuck norris and is on top, immediately becomes part of the mile high club. Chuck norris puts gravel instead of soap on his slip n slide. __________________ I have exhaust and an intake...
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08-31-2012, 06:31 PM	#17
khaye1 Colonel 161 Rep 2,811 Posts Drives: 24 G87 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: San Diego iTrader: (8) Garage List [10.00]	Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer...too bad he doesn't cry __________________
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08-31-2012, 08:57 PM	#21
passing hey 60 Rep 476 Posts Drives: caprice wagon Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: cruisin down the street in my '64 iTrader: (5)	chuck norris has already been to mars. that's why there are no signs of life.
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