[shah269]

Instructions of how to be a good meat bomb...aka skydiving student!
1) Call Hans! Tell him he has a nice accent and you know me. Give him $15 in pennies as your deposit.
2) Show up on >>>April 20th <<<. Hans and will have a short buss for you to take you from NJ to Skys the Limit in PA (http://www.skysthelimit.net/)
3) At STL you will be given a short class on being a proper meat bomb!
4) You will wear ill fitting umpalumpa outfit that will make you look like an escaped mental patient! It's ok.....it's slimming!
5) You will be attached to a handsome man with soft hands...you will be his little spoon...see just like being in prison!
6) The aircraft will fly up to 14k ft. We may fly higher depending on how much the pilot likes you. Odds are he won't so we will only be going up to 14k ft.
7) The door will open, a bunch of meat bombs...all of which 95% will be guys....wearing bright colors...holding hands will casually leave the aircraft as if it's just another great day in the sun! Think of it as a gay pride parade in the sky!
8) You and your "buddy" will walk to the door.....reach back and hold him tight ok! Not like those 4 titanium bolts won't work or anything!
9) Leave aircraft attached to your bunk buddy screaming "YOOOOLOOOOOOOOO BITCHES!"
10) Free fall for 1min....14k ft to 5kft.
11) Save your own life by pulling open the parachute....if you forget your bunk buddy will save your sorry ass for you...see told you he loved you and cared about you! Remember that....you may want to tip him or hug him or maybe give him your real phone number...it's ok his wife won't mind!
12) Land...not hard
13) Run around like a wild flaming banana high fiving strangers and screaming "I am a god!"
14) Get on the short buss for your ride back to the Rockaway Mall.
15) Go to local bar and brag about how awesome you are....
16) Drunk dial your tandem guy and tell him you love him and want to make him breakfast in bed.

questions?

[STi_traitor]

Originally Posted by shah269

Instructions of how to be a good meat bomb...aka skydiving student!
1) Call Hans! Tell him he has a nice accent and you know me. Give him $15 in pennies as your deposit.
2) Show up on >>>April 20th <<<. Hans and will have a short buss for you to take you from NJ to Skys the Limit in PA (http://www.skysthelimit.net/)
3) At STL you will be given a short class on being a proper meat bomb!
4) You will wear ill fitting umpalumpa outfit that will make you look like an escaped mental patient! It's ok.....it's slimming!
5) You will be attached to a handsome man with soft hands...you will be his little spoon...see just like being in prison!
6) The aircraft will fly up to 14k ft. We may fly higher depending on how much the pilot likes you. Odds are he won't so we will only be going up to 14k ft.
7) The door will open, a bunch of meat bombs...all of which 95% will be guys....wearing bright colors...holding hands will casually leave the aircraft as if it's just another great day in the sun! Think of it as a gay pride parade in the sky!
8) You and your "buddy" will walk to the door.....reach back and hold him tight ok! Not like those 4 titanium bolts won't work or anything!
9) Leave aircraft attached to your bunk buddy screaming "YOOOOLOOOOOOOOO BITCHES!"
10) Free fall for 1min....14k ft to 5kft.
11) Save your own life by pulling open the parachute....if you forget your bunk buddy will save your sorry ass for you...see told you he loved you and cared about you! Remember that....you may want to tip him or hug him or maybe give him your real phone number...it's ok his wife won't mind!
12) Land...not hard
13) Run around like a wild flaming banana high fiving strangers and screaming "I am a god!"
14) Get on the short buss for your ride back to the Rockaway Mall.
15) Go to local bar and brag about how awesome you are....
16) Drunk dial your tandem guy and tell him you love him and want to make him breakfast in bed.

questions?

[Comet]

I'm considering trying a tandem for the first time in the coming months.
I have a few questions for you pros if you don't mind the thread-jacking

I'm shit scared of heights and I know there is no way in hell I will jump out.
Does the tandem guy jump for me or do I actually have to jump with him? in other words, does he push me out of the plane?
How long does the jump take in total?
I assume all jumps are done from 13-14k ft?
will I piss my pants because I'm scared?

[shah269]

So you want to be a meat bom?
NICE!
OK here is what not to expect.
1) Women! there will be very few if any women at your local drop zone. And the ones that are there are very handsome and have very rough hands!
2) New anything! Chairs, tables, couches.............anything!
3) All the money goes into the engines, the inside of the aircraft will look like something out of a South African Slum! And it will smell just as bad as well!
4) Your umpa lumpa suit will be ither 14 sizes too big or 14 sizes too small and you will have your balls in your mouth!
5) You will get on the aircraft and people will be all down...and as we climb close to 14k ft we all start getting all zen.
6) The sound of people leaveing an aircraft is funny! ffffffllloooooppp
7) YOU WILL NOT HAVE A CHOICE YOU WILL LEAVE THE AIRCRAFT! Your handsome tandem master with the soft hands will push you the fuck out!
8) don't scream yolo!

[STi_traitor]

Originally Posted by Comet

I'm considering trying a tandem for the first time in the coming months.
I have a few questions for you pros if you don't mind the thread-jacking

I'm shit scared of heights and I know there is no way in hell I will jump out.
Does the tandem guy jump for me or do I actually have to jump with him? in other words, does he push me out of the plane?
How long does the jump take in total?
I assume all jumps are done from 13-14k ft?
will I piss my pants because I'm scared?

Not sure if trolling or what. Just to be on the nice side. You will leave the plane at roughly 13k feet. It will last about 50-60 seconds and the heights thing becomes irrelevant to some at that height because all you see is clouds and blue skies. You might piss your pants!

Originally Posted by shah269

So you want to be a meat bom?
NICE!
OK here is what not to expect.
1) Women! there will be very few if any women at your local drop zone. And the ones that are there are very handsome and have very rough hands!
2) New anything! Chairs, tables, couches.............anything!
3) All the money goes into the engines, the inside of the aircraft will look like something out of a South African Slum! And it will smell just as bad as well!
4) Your umpa lumpa suit will be ither 14 sizes too big or 14 sizes too small and you will have your balls in your mouth!
5) You will get on the aircraft and people will be all down...and as we climb close to 14k ft we all start getting all zen.
6) The sound of people leaveing an aircraft is funny! ffffffllloooooppp
7) YOU WILL NOT HAVE A CHOICE YOU WILL LEAVE THE AIRCRAFT! Your handsome tandem master with the soft hands will push you the fuck out!
8) don't scream yolo!

Shah269 you are a hoot dude!

[Comet]

Originally Posted by STi_traitor

Not sure if trolling or what. Just to be on the nice side. You will leave the plane at roughly 13k feet. It will last about 50-60 seconds and the heights thing becomes irrelevant to some at that height because all you see is clouds and blue skies. You might piss your pants!

not trolling. thanks.

but is the tandem guy the one who jumps out? or it is a combined effort? because I don't think I'll have the nads to do it.

[shah269]

OK your thandem date will be the big spoon you will be his little spoon....hold him, love him, tell him that you have never done this before! You will be attached to him, you will both walk to the door....you will swing your legs out...and he will ask if you are a go...you will say no...and he will push you.

And well like $3k later this could be you!
http://en.vidivodo.com/video/family-...ent-hq/1053995

[Sam335ix]

I jumped twice, first time was great but the second jump we had an issue which scared the living shit out of me... one of the lines was snagged and had to deploy the second chute (or at least what the instructor said when i was attache between his balls lol). I have not jumped since and that was 10 years ago :-( but it is a life changing experience when you do jump and you will love it.

[STi_traitor]

Originally Posted by Comet

not trolling. thanks.

but is the tandem guy the one who jumps out? or it is a combined effort? because I don't think I'll have the nads to do it.

You make the choice to do the tandem on the ground of course. Once that has been made and you are in the plane at the jumping altitude the Tandem Master is in control and will take you with him unless you show a serious risk to his and your personal safety. Don't worry about the risk because in all seriousness its a very safe sport. Lots of research/technology has been put into the sport. Plus your Tandem Master usually has thousand and thousands of jumps. This will not be his first time. Like Sam335 said, this is a great experience and you will love it! Don't over think the possibilities, I jump seven to ten times a day when I go with nothing but awesome experiences to take home. Here is a video of my brother doing a Tandem, they did a flip with him out the plane because he asked for it. The look on my brothers face says it all.

Originally Posted by shah269

OK your thandem date will be the big spoon you will be his little spoon....hold him, love him, tell him that you have never done this before! You will be attached to him, you will both walk to the door....you will swing your legs out...and he will ask if you are a go...you will say no...and he will push you.

And well like $3k later this could be you!
http://en.vidivodo.com/video/family-...ent-hq/1053995

My buddy told me about this video and I have finally seen it, hilarious! Peter has some moves!

Originally Posted by Sam335ix

I jumped twice, first time was great but the second jump we had an issue which scared the living shit out of me... one of the lines was snagged and had to deploy the second chute (or at least what the instructor said when i was attache between his balls lol). I have not jumped since and that was 10 years ago :-( but it is a life changing experience when you do jump and you will love it.

Sorry you had a bad experience. This is true about the first jump, love at first sight.

[Comet]

Originally Posted by STi_traitor

You make the choice to do the tandem on the ground of course. Once that has been made and you are in the plane at the jumping altitude the Tandem Master is in control and will take you with him unless you show a serious risk to his and your personal safety. Don't worry about the risk because in all seriousness its a very safe sport. Lots of research/technology has been put into the sport. Plus your Tandem Master usually has thousand and thousands of jumps. This will not be his first time. Like Sam335 said, this is a great experience and you will love it! Don't over think the possibilities, I jump seven to ten times a day when I go with nothing but awesome experiences to take home. Here is a video of my brother doing a Tandem, they did a flip with him out the plane because he asked for it. The look on my brothers face says it all.

haha thanks
I don't think of the possibilities and I know that God must seriously hate me if I am gonna die in this.. I just have an irrational fear of heights/falling is all.

Thanks a lot for the input ^_^

[STi_traitor]

Originally Posted by Comet

haha thanks
I don't think of the possibilities and I know that God must seriously hate me if I am gonna die in this.. I just have an irrational fear of heights/falling is all.

Thanks a lot for the input ^_^

No problem.