A Damn Fine Explanation...

DLJJ3399 · 10-24-2006, 04:37 PM

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me... a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want
a divorce straight away!"

And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened."

"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, " but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"

And the husband began... "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.

She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on
weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you
have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same"

The husband took a quick breath and continued... "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me! with tears in her eyes and said, Please... do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"

E91 Dude · 10-24-2006, 06:03 PM

Hahaha, because of the thread title, I thought this was going to be a serious thing (I forgot that I was in the Lighter Side subforum). The punchline really got me!

emos325 · 10-25-2006, 09:46 AM

She can't complain! Use it or LOSE IT!!!

AW330i · 10-25-2006, 08:53 PM

hahaha

Chris.G · 10-28-2006, 07:26 AM

I laughed my head off so much that my girlfriend came to my room and read the explanation. I don't think ill be getting any action tonight. DAM

BMW320i · 10-30-2006, 06:14 PM

l0o0o0o0oo0l

that was damn hillarious!!!

mds82 · 10-30-2006, 09:36 PM

funny stuff man..

davinet78 · 10-31-2006, 08:30 AM

thats a very good one thanks

10-24-2006, 04:37 PM	#1
DLJJ3399 Lack of charisma can be fatal... 100 Rep 365 Posts Drives: 2006 330i Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Portland, Oregon USA iTrader: (0) Garage List 2006 BMW 3er 330i l ... [0.00]	A Damn Fine Explanation... The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me... a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!" And the husband replied "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened." "Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, " but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!" And the husband began... "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same" The husband took a quick breath and continued... "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me! with tears in her eyes and said, Please... do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?" __________________ Protect Me From What I Want... _____________________________
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10-24-2006, 06:03 PM	#2
E91 Dude First Lieutenant 54 Rep 318 Posts Drives: Car Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Location iTrader: (2)	Hahaha, because of the thread title, I thought this was going to be a serious thing (I forgot that I was in the Lighter Side subforum). The punchline really got me!
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10-25-2006, 09:46 AM	#3
emos325 Streifenden Komet 9 Rep 120 Posts Drives: 525i was a 325is Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ft.Myers/Orlando Fl iTrader: (0) Garage List 95' and what was a ... [0.00]	She can't complain! Use it or LOSE IT!!! __________________ "Drive like you live" CFBA:rocks: 335i will be the new turner car for this decade! If it's a bimmer, it's badass. It's more fun to drive a slow car fast, than a fast car slow; F- That just go to driving school and you can do both.
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10-25-2006, 08:53 PM	#4
AW330i Captain 85 Rep 876 Posts Drives: Alpine White 330i Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Houston, Tx iTrader: (0)	hahaha __________________
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10-28-2006, 07:26 AM	#5
Chris.G Banned 110 Rep 3,120 Posts Drives: 2011 LCI MSPORT X5 30d Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia iTrader: (0)	I laughed my head off so much that my girlfriend came to my room and read the explanation. I don't think ill be getting any action tonight. DAM
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10-30-2006, 06:14 PM	#6
BMW320i Colonel 186 Rep 2,916 Posts Drives: '06 AW 320i Join Date: May 2006 Location: Muscat, Oman iTrader: (0) Garage List 2006 320i [0.00]	l0o0o0o0oo0l that was damn hillarious!!! __________________ 19" velocity CSL replicas staggured // Continental sport contact 2: rear: 255/35/19, Front: 235/35/19 // Blacklines // rear OEM spoiler // y-connector // 30% v-kool tint all around // Black Roof/Mirrors // H&R Sport springs // H&R TRAK+ 15mm spacers // *BMW never makes ordinary cars . . .*
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10-30-2006, 09:36 PM	#7
mds82 Major General 372 Rep 5,842 Posts Drives: 2006 325xi Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: South Central Connecticut iTrader: (40) Garage List 2006 325xi Snow Pics [0.00] 2006 BMW 325xi [0.00]	funny stuff man..
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10-31-2006, 08:30 AM	#8
davinet78 Lieutenant Colonel 28 Rep 1,832 Posts Drives: bmw e90 320d Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: gibraltar(europe) iTrader: (0) Garage List 2005 bmw 320d E90 [0.00]	thats a very good one thanks __________________ e90 320d,arktis,lumber support, hifi speaker, alarm, dakota beige, 162 18", xenon with washer spray,window chrome trimmings, professional radio, 6 cd changer wood trimmings 6 speed manual.
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