Stopped For Speeding

SoYank · 02-01-2007, 01:57 PM

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's car for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes, sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation.

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun it it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure, enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening the trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying S.O.B. told you I was speeding, too.

mikeman · 02-01-2007, 02:06 PM

hahahahahahahahaha thats great.

just4kickz · 02-01-2007, 02:12 PM

haha!

bavarian19 · 02-01-2007, 04:12 PM

ironic · 02-01-2007, 09:00 PM

lol

MWcoupe · 02-01-2007, 09:07 PM

very nice...lol

BMW F22 · 02-01-2007, 10:34 PM

LMAO I gotta try that one day.

02-01-2007, 01:57 PM	#1
SoYank Major General 582 Rep 7,519 Posts Drives: 2009 E90 335i MT Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Vinton, Virginia iTrader: (1) Garage List 2009 BMW E90 335i S ... [9.00]	Stopped For Speeding A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner's car for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes, sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation. Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The driver owned the car. Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun it it? Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure, enough, there was nothing in the glove box. Captain: Would you mind opening the trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it. Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body. Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk. Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying S.O.B. told you I was speeding, too. __________________ **2009 E90 335i Montego Blue · Black Leather · Burl Walnut · 6MT · US Spec** SatNav • ZPP • ZCW • 6FL • TPMS • iDrive • PDC • HWS • Xenons • BMW Assist • Power Rear Sunshade • Logic 7 European Taillights • Rear Foglamp • OEM Alarm • PicoTray • DataToys XM-DVR • Multi-view Processor Quaife ATB LSD • Short Shift Knob • Hartge Anti-Roll Bars • AP Racing Front Brakes • 19" Style 269
	Appreciate 0 Tweet Quote

02-01-2007, 02:06 PM	#2
mikeman PAINISINEVITABLESUFFERING ISOPTIONAL. 48 Rep 381 Posts Drives: 08 Escalade Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: LA iTrader: (1) Garage List 2006 BMW 325i [0.00]	hahahahahahahahaha thats great. __________________ RIP E90 2006 Jet Black 325i\|Pioneer AVIC-N3 w/Pioneer GEX-P10XMT XM Nav Traffic\|Black Grill\|H&R Race Springs\|Blacklines\|ACS Roof Spoiler\|5% Rear Tint 10% Front Tint\|Maya RM1 Diamond Black 19x10 rear 19x9 front on Toyo T1R 265/30/19 rear and 235/35/19 front\|
	Appreciate 0 Quote

02-01-2007, 02:12 PM	#3
just4kickz boku no namae ha... 344 Rep 11,023 Posts Drives: 2006 BS 330i Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: S. Bay Area, CA + Newark, NJ + ChiCity + True Blue iTrader: (11) Garage List 2006 E90 330i [0.00]	haha! __________________ looking for a PreLCI Black Sapphire e90 front bumper without license plate holes "Akimbo shotguns. Broken wrists anyone? And don't give me that 'it's just a game' bull**. Where the are my akimbo interventions then?! One scope on each eye mother**er!!"
	Appreciate 0 Quote

02-01-2007, 04:12 PM	#4
bavarian19 General 547 Rep 18,849 Posts Drives: Car Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: VA iTrader: (23)
	Appreciate 0 Quote

02-01-2007, 09:00 PM	#5
ironic Major General 267 Rep 8,338 Posts Drives: Jet Black 335i Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: San Francisco, Ca iTrader: (22)	lol __________________ Widebody 335i Project Car BUILD \| PHOTOSHOOT
	Appreciate 0 Quote

02-01-2007, 09:07 PM	#6
MWcoupe 24k GOLD 146 Rep 1,452 Posts Drives: Mineral White M4 Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: BROOKLYN NY iTrader: (0)	very nice...lol
	Appreciate 0 Quote

02-01-2007, 10:34 PM	#7
BMW F22 Major General 3659 Rep 9,783 Posts Drives: ///M235i Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Bay Area iTrader: (8)	LMAO I gotta try that one day.
	Appreciate 0 Quote