Miracle Cure

Tondtar · 01-19-2010, 07:40 PM

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue.. . . .. .

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman:" Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me!"

Doctor:"I have a real good medicine against that: When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle as long as you can".

2 weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn and fresh again.

Woman: "Doc, that was a miracle and brilliant! Every time my husband came home drunk I gargled repeatedly with chamomile tea and he never even touched me. How does it work?"

Doctor: "Well you see....It's not the tea. Actually, keeping your mouth shut helps!!!"

GAM3OVR85 · 01-19-2010, 07:45 PM

lol

Memphis1 · 01-19-2010, 08:12 PM

i love it

GreenPlease · 01-20-2010, 11:22 AM

Nawaaz · 01-20-2010, 01:45 PM

Hilarious!

Kroy · 01-20-2010, 02:08 PM

Just heard this the other day, it's bad.. but...

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

Tondtar · 01-20-2010, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kroy

Just heard this the other day, it's bad.. but...

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

Man, I thought mine was bad!

dr.jay · 01-20-2010, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kroy

Just heard this the other day, it's bad.. but...

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

Searcher821 · 01-20-2010, 04:00 PM

The man tells his wife to go get him a beer in the fridge.
Woman says no.

The man says; "If you don't get me that f*ggen beer now, you won't see me for two days!"

And sure enough - on the third day she saw him again, a little bit with her left eye.

Kroy · 01-20-2010, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Searcher821

The man tells his wife to go get him a beer in the fridge.
Woman says no.

The man says; "If you don't get me that f*ggen beer now, you won't see me for two days!"

And sure enough - on the third day she saw him again, a little bit with her left eye.

+1 What tondar said..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tondtar

Man, I thought mine was bad!

BMW F22 · 01-20-2010, 08:31 PM

LMAO oh man these jokes are horrible (in a good way)!!

OlivaresAnthony · 02-16-2010, 10:52 PM

LMFAO

Viking///M · 10-13-2010, 12:03 PM

Here's one more.

If the dove is the official bird of peace, then what is the official bird of love?

the swallow.

pmeloche · 10-13-2010, 06:59 PM

ideliver · 10-13-2010, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kroy

Just heard this the other day, it's bad.. but...

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

haha...this was just told by a character in "Boardwalk Empire" on HBO

01-19-2010, 07:40 PM	#1
Tondtar 12 yr old Juvie 1137 Rep 881 Posts Drives: His Mom Crazy Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: El Lay iTrader: (2) Garage List 2008 (RIP in 2011) ... [0.00]	Miracle Cure A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue.. . . .. . Doctor: "What happened?" Woman:" Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me!" Doctor:"I have a real good medicine against that: When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle as long as you can". 2 weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn and fresh again. Woman: "Doc, that was a miracle and brilliant! Every time my husband came home drunk I gargled repeatedly with chamomile tea and he never even touched me. How does it work?" Doctor: "Well you see....It's not the tea. Actually, keeping your mouth shut helps!!!"
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01-19-2010, 07:45 PM	#2
GAM3OVR85 Major General 316 Rep 8,049 Posts Drives: E92 M3 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Montreal, QC iTrader: (18) Garage List 2008 BMW M3 [0.00] 2010 Sea-Doo RXT-X 260 [9.00] 2007 E92 328i [10.00]	lol __________________ 08 E92 M3/Melbourne Red/6MT/Exec Pack/MDrive/EDC/PDC/19" 220M Mods: VRS Front Lip, HID Angels, KW V3, Stoptech BBK, SS lines, 18" TE37SL, Bastuck Exhaust, MS Air Filter, OEM Aluminum Padels, LED Interior Light 07 E92 328i/Jet Black/Cream Beige Leather/Premium/Step/Heated Seats...check garage!
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01-19-2010, 08:12 PM	#3
Memphis1 Lieutenant Colonel 97 Rep 1,838 Posts Drives: Z4 SDrive 35i Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: CT iTrader: (0)	i love it __________________
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01-20-2010, 11:22 AM	#4
GreenPlease Lieutenant Colonel 146 Rep 1,629 Posts Drives: BMW 335i e92 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Orlando Florida iTrader: (2)	__________________ Cars>Women
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01-20-2010, 01:45 PM	#5
Nawaaz Brigadier General 223 Rep 4,643 Posts Drives: . Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: . iTrader: (0)	Hilarious!
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01-20-2010, 02:08 PM	#6
Kroy Brigadier General 177 Rep 3,032 Posts Drives: E90 Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Los Angeles, CA iTrader: (1)	Just heard this the other day, it's bad.. but... What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.
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01-20-2010, 04:00 PM	#9
Searcher821 I find stuff 1 Rep 8 Posts Drives: Jet pack Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Cloud City iTrader: (0)	The man tells his wife to go get him a beer in the fridge. Woman says no. The man says; "If you don't get me that f*ggen beer now, you won't see me for two days!" And sure enough - on the third day she saw him again, a little bit with her left eye.
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01-20-2010, 08:31 PM	#11
BMW F22 Major General 3659 Rep 9,783 Posts Drives: ///M235i Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Bay Area iTrader: (8)	LMAO oh man these jokes are horrible (in a good way)!!
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02-16-2010, 10:52 PM	#12
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10-13-2010, 12:03 PM	#13
Viking///M Registered 0 Rep 4 Posts Drives: E60 M5 Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Miami Fl iTrader: (0)	Here's one more. If the dove is the official bird of peace, then what is the official bird of love? the swallow.
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10-13-2010, 06:59 PM	#14
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