[lens]

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

...that is....unfortunate.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

The check is in the mail

I want to finish making the invoices first!

(it costs about 10 bucks to make one, so I am clearly making a huge profit with this!)

[4AD]

Originally Posted by Lups

I keep getting this line:

"Wanna take me for a ride?"

Has it ever worked for anyone? Sooo fucking annoying

Yes, but only when I visit Texas wearing my 10 gallon hat with Ginuwine cranked up real loud, and with this temporary bumper sticker proudly displayed :

[Lups]

Originally Posted by 4AD

Yes, but only when I visit Texas wearing my 10 gallon hat with Ginuwine cranked up real loud, and with this temporary bumper sticker proudly displayed :

Lol, k. I won't do that ever then

[bimmette]

Do you guys have any awkward stories from using urinals? Do you secretly glance at other packages?

[Mr.SugarSkulls]

Originally Posted by bimmette

Do you guys have any awkward stories from using urinals? Do you secretly glance at other packages?

Typically there's an unspoken rule amongst men that you always get the next one over if available. It's annoying when they're all open and a dude comes up next to you and stands 4 ft away as if his dick is so big, and towards the end he starts missing/hitting the floor.

I've had a few guys try to start small talk, and with my biggest douchebag voice I simply say "not now bro" (don't care if he's young or 70+) and tune them out.

[bimmette]

Originally Posted by Mr.SugarSkulls

Typically there's an unspoken rule amongst men that you always get the next one over if available. It's annoying when they're all open and a dude comes up next to you and stands 4 ft away as if his dick is so big, and towards the end he starts missing/hitting the floor.

I've had a few guys try to start small talk, and with my biggest douchebag voice I simply say "not now bro" (don't care if he's young or 70+) and tune them out.

wow.

[HFW003]

Originally Posted by bimmette

Do you guys have any awkward stories from using urinals? Do you secretly glance at other packages?

I have never looked at another guys "package". I've played a lot of sport during my life and had many showers with blokes, it's just not a (pun intended) big thing to see another mans stalk.

There are two very simple rules when you're taking a leak;

You do not get to a urinal next to someone of there is a spare one two up and you do not talk to anyone, unless it's one of your life long mate, until you leave the toilet.

[Mr.SugarSkulls]

Exactly what ^ said.

Even if you were having a conversation literally right up until you're standing at the urinal- the moment you're in position, all conversations halt until everyone in said compromising position finishes.

[ASBSECU E93]

Originally Posted by bimmette

Do you guys have any awkward stories from using urinals? Do you secretly glance at other packages?

Bathroom time is sacred for men - quiet must be observed at all times. When someone enters the bathroom, you announce your presence in a stall with a courtesy 'sniff' or 'clearing of the throat' so they understand if the stall is occupied. I believe a formal list of rules exists somewhere on the internet.

You do not use urinal directly beside a dude UNLESS no other option exists. You do not look side to side, you do not talk, when finished you shake the snake 3 times, and zip the fly BEFORE walking away

Story - I worked with a guy that ALWAYS made awkward small talk in the bathroom. He and I were in a meeting at the corporate office. I stepped out of the meeting for a call, and my buddy stepped out a couple minutes later to take a dump. After my call - I went to piss before returning to the meeting. I assume he thought I was in the stall beside him because he was saying, 'how about a courtesy flush for god's sake' and knocking on the stall

While I was washing my hands, they both came out and he realized it wasn't me

[RJ_]

Originally Posted by Biorin

If you actually have a small penis, how do you feel when people make joking small dick comments?


No one will answer this.

I was very much a late bloomer growing up, like -2 sigma in the puberty department. Didn't help that I was young for my grade too, so up until I was probably 18-19, I was very much behind my peers.

For me, when people would make jokes, it was the standard play along, laugh, and just act like you're king of the jungle like everyone else. I remember always being worried about the details giving me away though; things that only experience would tell you.

Ex: guys mentioning needing to "hold up" their dicks in the bathroom because for them it would hang down, whereas small ones tend to point straight out, almost no aiming necessary. The topic of girls goes without saying.

Locker rooms were stressful, shocking I know. Despite observing that only a select few guys would strut around, it still made me feel like the only one who felt uncomfortable.

I realize teenage years are awkward for everyone, the only difference here was that I was so behind the rest.

Looking back I can see how it affected me in ways I didn't realize at the time. Even if no one else knew, it made me feel inferior. I can see how I felt like I had to prove myself or do "manly" things to feel valuable. The way I coped with it was just to keep my head down, do my thing, and hope that someone would respect me based on things I'd done or success I had. Not how much of a man I was or wasn't yet.

But now I'm remarkably average and it doesn't matter anymore, although I'm sure there's some personality traits that were shaped because of those years.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by RJ_419

I was very much a late bloomer growing up, like -2 sigma in the puberty department. Didn't help that I was young for my grade too, so up until I was probably 18-19, I was very much behind my peers.

For me, when people would make jokes, it was the standard play along, laugh, and just act like you're king of the jungle like everyone else. I remember always being worried about the details giving me away though; things that only experience would tell you.

Ex: guys mentioning needing to "hold up" their dicks in the bathroom because for them it would hang down, whereas small ones tend to point straight out, almost no aiming necessary. The topic of girls goes without saying.

Locker rooms were stressful, shocking I know. Despite observing that only a select few guys would strut around, it still made me feel like the only one who felt uncomfortable.

I realize teenage years are awkward for everyone, the only difference here was that I was so behind the rest.

Looking back I can see how it affected me in ways I didn't realize at the time. Even if no one else knew, it made me feel inferior. I can see how I felt like I had to prove myself or do "manly" things to feel valuable. The way I coped with it was just to keep my head down, do my thing, and hope that someone would respect me based on things I'd done or success I had. Not how much of a man I was or wasn't yet.

But now I'm remarkably average and it doesn't matter anymore, although I'm sure there's some personality traits that were shaped because of those years.

Lol, this was hilarious.

As a fully grown 18 year old I weight 52 kg and I was 175 cm tall. A solid a cup until I got on birth control pills.

In one month I was in DD and fml nothing has been so painful. The worst were that before that I could just be me, then I had to be answering to strangers who did my boobs.

A lesson learned for sure but damn when I expected our first kid and went up a fee more cup sizes while spending my time throwing up? I would rather have a really, really small dick.

[RJ_]

Originally Posted by Lups

Lol, this was hilarious.

As a fully grown 18 year old I weight 52 kg and I was 175 cm tall. A solid a cup until I got on birth control pills.

In one month I was in DD and fml nothing has been so painful. The worst were that before that I could just be me, then I had to be answering to strangers who did my boobs.

A lesson learned for sure but damn when I expected our first kid and went up a fee more cup sizes while spending my time throwing up? I would rather have a really, really small dick.

Ha well glad you got something out of it.

Do you have lower back problems, Lups??

[choicez]

Originally Posted by bimmette

Do you guys have any awkward stories from using urinals? Do you secretly glance at other packages?

Always look straight or up

[lens]

Originally Posted by Biorin

If you actually have a small penis, how do you feel when people make joking small dick comments?


No one will answer this.

Well...I'm fairly insecure about my package (I'm sure most guys are) but most of my partners have not said a single word or complained about it and they seemed fairly happy by the time we were done, so I took that as a sign that I'm fairly adequate.

I normally brush the joke off and make some jokes myself, to be honest, there are other ways to pleasure females to compensate. Like I'm pretty good with my mouth and fingers, and I highly enjoy giving oral down there to women.

[lens]

Originally Posted by bimmette

Do you guys have any awkward stories from using urinals? Do you secretly glance at other packages?

[Biorin]

Originally Posted by chaungo

Well...I'm fairly insecure about my package (I'm sure most guys are) but most of my partners have not said a single word or complained about it and they seemed fairly happy by the time we were done, so I took that as a sign that I'm fairly adequate.

I normally brush the joke off and make some jokes myself, to be honest, there are other ways to pleasure females to compensate. Like I'm pretty good with my mouth and fingers, and I highly enjoy giving oral down there to women.

Originally Posted by RJ_419

I was very much a late bloomer growing up, like -2 sigma in the puberty department. Didn't help that I was young for my grade too, so up until I was probably 18-19, I was very much behind my peers.

You guys are awesome for answering. Thank you.

[1MOREMOD]

Originally Posted by bimmette

Do you guys have any awkward stories from using urinals? Do you secretly glance at other packages?

I was at a casino and everyone was fairly loaded. Standing pissing and 2 guys next to me on left. One was hammered and screwing around. He pissed on the other guys foot slightly thinking he was funny. Other guy packaged it up and knocked the fucker out cold he was on his back with his dick in hand. I just kept pissing and laughed.

[Mr Tonka]

Damn.... step away from the keyboard for a day....

Originally Posted by Biorin

What made the best sex you ever had the best?

You must be feeling badly about the size of my thread.

Originally Posted by UglyBuzzard

She left without taking the cash.

Seriously though, connection makes it the best

Lol at hanging on to the cash.

Originally Posted by TheAxiom

Was at one of the ex's place, we had an a guest over from a wedding we went to. He wanted to go out to the pool and of course the ex wanted to get out of bed and do that too, I just wasn't feeling it. I told him we would catch up later, but I just felt like relaxing in bed. We all had drank to much from the night before and I guess didn't live up the promise of what I said I would do to her when I got home, unless I said that was pass out drunk. I was awesome at that. We had breakfast and I just wanted to lie in bed and fool around a bit (not even sex) and go back to sleep.

I don't know how to tell you guys, she would initiate, but this time was different. I don't really know what to say, she changed into her bathing suit and was ready to leave the room and I pulled her back into bed for a kiss and she just got busy. Like...it's hard to explain without getting graphic but she has to be in the mood for things to work...well, and she normally didn't like doing the work herself (I would...obviously). Today was different, I just remember her getting herself ready and doing everything, really getting into it riding it cowgirl style - the look, the facial expressions (an art on it's own), the enthusiasm -everything. It was FUCKING AMAZING, I swear I felt like I was going to die.


It was literally one of the most unforgettable things I have ever experienced. No one is going to believe me when I say this, but I felt like I was going to pass out, and then cry- that's how intense it was. Sound like it is such a bitch thing to say, but idgaf, it happened.

Never told her or anyone else until now.


So...chemistry.

Everything after the bold part was superfluous. hahaha Want hot sex, bang a chick after going to a wedding. lol

Originally Posted by Biorin

My friend and her husband have developed a theory that the most overtly sexual women (e.g., constant cleavage, very flirty, etc) tend to be the most boring in bed, whereas the majority of the freaks are more "unexpected." What's your experience with/take on this?

Based on the truth of the answers to this question. Well, i wonder what Tara did last night.

Originally Posted by Biorin

There's confidence, but perhaps also a factor of 70k car can be seen as a "I'm a douche and need to compensate for something" without the gold digging allure of you compensating with a 300k car.

What about if the less than $300k car is a Range Rover. Is that super strength douche? I may have finally found my super power!

Originally Posted by Biorin

..."I'd answer if this was the ask a girl anything thread"

So now your scared of the size of my thread.

[Biorin]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Damn.... step away from the keyboard for a day....You must be feeling badly about the size of my thread.

Yes, I feel bad about the size of your... thread. That's it.

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Based on the truth of the answers to this question. Well, i wonder what Tara did last night.

I had the same thought, hahaha.

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

What about if the less than $300k car is a Range Rover. Is that super strength douche? I may have finally found my super power!

Like I said, probably compensating for the size of your thread.

[bimmette]

Originally Posted by RJ_419

I was very much a late bloomer growing up, like -2 sigma in the puberty department. Didn't help that I was young for my grade too, so up until I was probably 18-19, I was very much behind my peers.

For me, when people would make jokes, it was the standard play along, laugh, and just act like you're king of the jungle like everyone else. I remember always being worried about the details giving me away though; things that only experience would tell you.

Ex: guys mentioning needing to "hold up" their dicks in the bathroom because for them it would hang down, whereas small ones tend to point straight out, almost no aiming necessary. The topic of girls goes without saying.

Locker rooms were stressful, shocking I know. Despite observing that only a select few guys would strut around, it still made me feel like the only one who felt uncomfortable.

I realize teenage years are awkward for everyone, the only difference here was that I was so behind the rest.

Looking back I can see how it affected me in ways I didn't realize at the time. Even if no one else knew, it made me feel inferior. I can see how I felt like I had to prove myself or do "manly" things to feel valuable. The way I coped with it was just to keep my head down, do my thing, and hope that someone would respect me based on things I'd done or success I had. Not how much of a man I was or wasn't yet.

But now I'm remarkably average and it doesn't matter anymore, although I'm sure there's some personality traits that were shaped because of those years.

Originally Posted by chaungo

Well...I'm fairly insecure about my package (I'm sure most guys are) but most of my partners have not said a single word or complained about it and they seemed fairly happy by the time we were done, so I took that as a sign that I'm fairly adequate.

I normally brush the joke off and make some jokes myself, to be honest, there are other ways to pleasure females to compensate. Like I'm pretty good with my mouth and fingers, and I highly enjoy giving oral down there to women.

Thank you for your honest answers!

FYI: It's actually very attractive when a guy is that honest and can admit he is small.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

...You just called most of the men in this forum 'Douche"...

Is she incorrect. Douches unite!

Originally Posted by Biorin

Just sneak up behind a girl and douche as much as possible.

Figuratively.

.....sneak up behind girls, douche wildly..... sorry, just adding to my bag of tricks.

Originally Posted by bimmette

Do you guys have any awkward stories from using urinals? Do you secretly glance at other packages?

Just one. I don't pee by just unzipping. I unbutton and unzip. (it really only takes one bad experience with a zipper to make the change) But when i started carrying again, on the back side of my right hip, is when i ran into the problem.

Walk up to the urinal business as usual, (choose the furthest from the door, closest to the wall, per guy code) and unbutton, and unzip. Start peeing and whoosh! Pants are at my ankles from the weight of my other package. No one was in there at the time and i'm not going to stop midstream so i just sit there eyes wide open hoping that i'm not super hydrated at the moment. And then i hear the outer door to the RR open. Finally realize i have to stop the stream lest i risk peeing on my clothes. As i'm squatting down, pinching my dick with one hand and grabbing for my pants with the other, the inner door opens. By some stroke of luck it was my friend who was at the restaurant with us. I'm very glad he isn't one of those guys who has his phone in hand as he goes into the bathroom. If he was i'm sure there'd be a meme on the internet of me looking like i'm trying to poop in front of a urinal.