[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

I'm not for sale, good sir. I'm insulted that you would think so!!




Now a long-term lease of my services is more my style. Here is the deal: I will deliver the black vote AND the native vote due to the fact that my girlfriend, yes...girlfriend-it's official, is 1/2 Native American. The terms are as follows:

1. I am Chief of Stuff
2. I get to choose whatever house I like in the continental United States.
3. I get to choose whatever countries we invade for as long as your presidency last. (Never mind the fact that I think it may be 35 to 40 minutes.)
4. I get to be Chancellor of The Exchequer and we print our own money...which is good at any car dealership in the continental United States.

These, good sir, are my terms. This offer has an expiration date.

Initially, I was about to turn you down, but since you are bringing both the Black and Native vote, you are giving me a twofer, so how can I possibly refuse now?

I agree to all your terms, with a proviso on #3, that being that I have veto power over any proposed invasion of Canada or Finland. Canada due to it being my home and native land, and Finland because it has a Lups in it, so who the heck wants Finland? Plus, an angry Lups would be undesirable.

Are the modified terms acceptable to you, dear sir?

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Initially, I was about to turn you down, but since you are bringing both the Black and Native vote, you are giving me a twofer, so how can I possibly refuse now?

I agree to all your terms, with a proviso on #3, that being that I have veto power over any proposed invasion of Canada or Finland. Canada due to it being my home and native land, and Finland because it has a Lups in it, so who the heck wants Finland? Plus, an angry Lups would be undesirable.

Are the modified terms acceptable to you, dear sir?

Did you really believe an invasion in any place involving Lups could end in anything but disaster?!?!! Good God man!!

Can we at least invade Nova Scotia and Vancouver? I do rather fancy those places!! We can leave the rest alone.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Did you really believe an invasion in any place involving Lups could end in anything but disaster?!?!! Good God man!!

Can we at least invade Nova Scotia and Vancouver? I do rather fancy those places!! We can leave the rest alone.

Well, the thought occurred to me that you might pick Finland just to *ensure* an early end to my presidency...that's why I wanted to specifically exclude it up front.

I'll agree to Nova Scotia (they have delicious crab and lobster...like honestly amazing the difference between the crab that gets shipped in and the east coast crab) and Vancouver.

Done. Secure me the vote good sir.

[UncleWede]

President-elect Joekerr , you forgot to ask 1MOREMOD to secure the alien vote.

Does this mean I can be in charge of your campaign -uhh - "promises"?? Taht way, in a few minutes, you can claim to have not ever really known me, or my Hispanic wife.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

President-elect Joekerr , you forgot to ask 1MOREMOD to secure the alien vote.

Does this mean I can be in charge of your campaign -uhh - "promises"?? Taht way, in a few minutes, you can claim to have not ever really known me, or my Hispanic wife.

I have learned from the experience Trump went through, that the very last thing I will need during my presidency, is the Democrats crying about "foreign interference" again...therefore, I do not need Moddie for the alien vote. They're out.

I will however extend to him an offer to be my Chief Enforcer. I anticipate a few skulls will need to be knocked together during my reign...ahem, presidency, sorry.

Sure, you can be in charge of the campaign promises. Provided you adhere to the tried and true formula of overpromising and never delivering that all politicians before me have adopted. Well, we might deliver on a few if they are especially fun promises. I'll need a list so we can choose which ones we'll actually come through on.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

President-elect Joekerr , you forgot to ask 1MOREMOD to secure the alien vote.

Does this mean I can be in charge of your campaign -uhh - "promises"?? Taht way, in a few minutes, you can claim to have not ever really known me, or my Hispanic wife.

This is good. Between the 2 of us we are carrying 4 voter blocs. We are BADDAZZ.

Originally Posted by Joekerr

I have learned from the experience Trump went through, that the very last thing I will need during my presidency, is the Democrats crying about "foreign interference" again...therefore, I do not need Moddie for the alien vote. They're out.

I will however extend to him an offer to be my Chief Enforcer. I anticipate a few skulls will need to be knocked together during my reign...ahem, presidency, sorry.

Sure, you can be in charge of the campaign promises. Provided you adhere to the tried and true formula of overpromising and never delivering that all politicians before me have adopted. Well, we might deliver on a few if they are especially fun promises. I'll need a list so we can choose which ones we'll actually come through on.

Maximum Ruler for Life, er, President Assumptive Joekerr, please understand that even though 1MOREMOD wields both Death Rays and Probes (The latter much more disturbing than the former), As Chief of Stuff and Invasions, I get to pick our invasion targets, per our agreement.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

This is good. Between the 2 of us we are carrying 4 voter blocs. We are BADDAZZ.



Maximum Ruler for Life, er, President Assumptive Joekerr, please understand that even though 1MOREMOD wields both Death Rays and Probes (The latter much more disturbing than the former), As Chief of Stuff and Invasions, I get to pick our invasion targets, per our agreement.

Not to worry - I was referring to domestic requirements for his services in the above. I fear as magnanimous as I am, some citizens may not view me that way and will be in need of his special form of "encouragement" to adjust their views to the correct viewpoint.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Not to worry - I was referring to domestic requirements for his services in the above. I fear as magnanimous as I am, some citizens may not view me that way and will be in need of his special form of "encouragement" to adjust their views to the correct viewpoint.

I'm going to have to make, as my first recommendation to you, Probes. The very thought of it gives me the heebie-jeebies, the shakes and the willies.

You want compliance? Probes are your ticket.

[Turkish Pickle]

Joekerr what's your immigration/work authorization policy for students with a STEM background looking to work in the states

asking for a friend h-haha

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Joekerr what's your immigration/work authorization policy for students with a STEM background looking to work in the states

asking for a friend h-haha

President-elect will provide successful applicants with the unlimited promise of Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness. Whether they have stems or flowers, or just normal human appendages, he would never judge.



( Joekerr we ain't keeping this one!)

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Joekerr what's your immigration/work authorization policy for students with a STEM background looking to work in the states

asking for a friend h-haha

Based on value proposition. If they add tangible value, then extremely inclusive, and in fact they participate in our 1:1 exchange program. This program works by accepting the foreign student (once they meet the tangible value criteria), and in exchange, we take the American citizen who has been on welfare the longest without any justification for it and drop ship them via parachute into the country in which the foreign student comes from.

Regrettably, via parachute is currently our only option at this time as then we don't have to worry about immigration as much since this program isn't widely accepted by the recipient countries sadly enough.

This way, our population doesn't explode, and we MAGA.

To be clear though, we take a dim view of foreign students going cherry picking in America before being accepted under the program. So I would submit an application quickly, otherwise, an individual named Moddie will be by to...umm...do unto you as you did to another....which means you'll be on the receiving end of the probing this time.

Because that is another one of our policies...do unto others as you would have done unto you. I just enforce the "do unto you" part of it...to make sure the "you" does unto "others" what you're comfortable with having done to you.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Initially, I was about to turn you down, but since you are bringing both the Black and Native vote, you are giving me a twofer, so how can I possibly refuse now?

I agree to all your terms, with a proviso on #3, that being that I have veto power over any proposed invasion of Canada or Finland. Canada due to it being my home and native land, and Finland because it has a Lups in it, so who the heck wants Finland? Plus, an angry Lups would be undesirable.

Are the modified terms acceptable to you, dear sir?

There was this guy in my youth that tried to pay me a lot for spanking him. Just saying, an angry lups is not a bad look, except in his case. The guy got off on humiliation but I bet he didnt see his date tying him into a chair and dialing up his mom and grandma.

I haven't received a Christmas card from him so I think he got over me really fast.

I also claim this as my contribution toward anti human trafficking. The guy is alive.

[//Melon]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

feeling anxious, trying to close in 30days or sooner.
contracts signed
waiting for title
bank appraisal soon.
never signed so many papers in my life.
practically signed my life, dont even know it lol

Buying a house?

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

To Bimmer Post in general, far and wide:

I'm thrilled to announce my upcoming inauguration as the newest President of the Untied States of America (sorry, but not sorry Trump). And yes, that will be my first Executive Order (why bother with the houses right - rule by executive order)...to change United to Untied. I feel it better represents what America has become, and then we can more easily get rid of the basket of deplorables who do not accept my rule.

With this vote, I feel like I have the Hispanics in my corner, due to Wede's wife, and I ought to have the whites in my corner as well due to Wede. Now I just need to focus on the Black, Indian, Native and Asian vote. Any other demographics in your country I am missing?

I'd ask for MKSixer help in locking down the black vote, but since with this cast ballot of Wede's, I've now promised MK's house to Wede when I come into power, I suspect he won't be so enthused about helping me. But here, I'll sweeten the pot MK - whose house would you like? If you get me in, I'll evict them and give it to you. Halp!

I thank you from the bottom of my heart Wede! I will be the best, the yugest liked president ever. I know it, you know it, everybody knows it.

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Based on value proposition. If they add tangible value, then extremely inclusive, and in fact they participate in our 1:1 exchange program. This program works by accepting the foreign student (once they meet the tangible value criteria), and in exchange, we take the American citizen who has been on welfare the longest without any justification for it and drop ship them via parachute into the country in which the foreign student comes from.

Regrettably, via parachute is currently our only option at this time as then we don't have to worry about immigration as much since this program isn't widely accepted by the recipient countries sadly enough.

This way, our population doesn't explode, and we MAGA.

To be clear though, we take a dim view of foreign students going cherry picking in America before being accepted under the program. So I would submit an application quickly, otherwise, an individual named Moddie will be by to...umm...do unto you as you did to another....which means you'll be on the receiving end of the probing this time.

Because that is another one of our policies...do unto others as you would have done unto you. I just enforce the "do unto you" part of it...to make sure the "you" does unto "others" what you're comfortable with having done to you.

im scared

do you do presidential exclusions for that rule if said student can campaign to increase voter base?

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Lups

There was this guy in my youth that tried to pay me a lot for spanking him. Just saying, an angry lups is not a bad look, except in his case. The guy got off on humiliation but I bet he didnt see his date tying him into a chair and dialing up his mom and grandma.

I haven't received a Christmas card from him so I think he got over me really fast.

I also claim this as my contribution toward anti human trafficking. The guy is alive.

Please tell me he was naked in the chair before you called up his mom and grandmother??? Oh the thought of them walking in on him.

Very funny though.

[fiveohwblow]

Originally Posted by Lups

There was this guy in my youth that tried to pay me a lot for spanking him. Just saying, an angry lups is not a bad look, except in his case. The guy got off on humiliation but I bet he didnt see his date tying him into a chair and dialing up his mom and grandma.

I haven't received a Christmas card from him so I think he got over me really fast.

I also claim this as my contribution toward anti human trafficking. The guy is alive.

I am going to make an assumption that this was prior to the FaceTime era? If so, LE SAD.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

im scared

do you do presidential exclusions for that rule if said student can campaign to increase voter base?

Normally not, but in this case I feel like I'm down to the wire with mere days remaining till November 3rd. So I'll make an exclusion in this case, PROVIDING you deliver a significant voter turnout (in my favour).

I am, after all, as I said, magnanimous.

[//Melon]

Originally Posted by Lups

There was this guy in my youth that tried to pay me a lot for spanking him.

I knew venturing into the Off-Topic part of this forum would lead to more interesting posts than "What oil do I use?"

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by //Melon

Buying a house?

yes

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Please tell me he was naked in the chair before you called up his mom and grandmother??? Oh the thought of them walking in on him.

Very funny though.

I did send them pics. I'm kind like that.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by fiveohwblow

I am going to make an assumption that this was prior to the FaceTime era? If so, LE SAD.

This was like 2003 or something so I send them pics as MSM. Expensive shit back in the day...

I'm so glad the phones in my wilder days could barely handle texting or a few photos. There still is an archive of the shit I got up to my friends hold over me but at least i can always tell my kids i personally don't recommend shit, and mean it.

[//Melon]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

yes

Congrats!

I feel you on the paperwork, my hand cramps after any closing.