[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Question for you dads. (and girls with kids, just reverse the genders below)

I see you're not keen on these young whipper-snappers chasing your daughters around. But what would you guys think if shortly after your daughter moved out, graduated college and started their career they told you they were dating a guy in his mid 40's, (or whatever your current age is when your kids have just moved out) never married, no kids, stable career, all around cool guy? Someone you'd like to hang out with even.



I think we know where Sara stands on this one.

Serial Killer.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Serial Killer.

What the hell do you think Verbiage does for a living?

So, that's an "i'll do everything in my power to make sure she doesn't date him." ??

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

What the hell do you think Verbiage does for a living?

So, that's an "i'll do everything in my power to make sure she doesn't date him." ??

He's in his mid-twenties, or so I understand.

As a friend told me long ago: When you have a son you have to worry about one coq. When you have a daughter, you have to worry about all of them.

Not EVERYTHING...a few may push the limits of legality.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Question for you dads. (and girls with kids, just reverse the genders below)

I see you're not keen on these young whipper-snappers chasing your daughters around. But what would you guys think if shortly after your daughter moved out, graduated college and started their career they told you they were dating a guy in his mid 40's, (or whatever your current age is when your kids have just moved out) never married, no kids, stable career, all around cool guy? Someone you'd like to hang out with even.



I think we know where Sara stands on this one.

I would be gravely concerned. It is just about where people are in their lives. There is a gut-level protection reaction, but I think there is reason behind it. I would want someone to share common life experiences. Someone who has already done the 20s is likely not going to be ready to relive them with her. If he is, that is another set of issues. I want her to have the full set of experiences that life offers and to do it with someone who will share them with her as an equal partner, not as a tour guide or "daddy". If there really isn't reason to back my protective instinct, then I'll make something else up. Either way... nope. Heh...

[Axius]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

He's in his mid-twenties, or so I understand.

As a friend told me long ago: When you have a son you have to worry about one coq. When you have a daughter, you have to worry about all of them.

Not EVERYTHING...a few may push the limits of legality.

I feel like if I ever have a daughter, the first thing I'm going to do is keep one room empty with a fold out chair, one hanging light bulb that's about to burn out yet still flickers, a desk with an office chair, and all my guns on the wall.

When a boy comes over, I will politely escort him to said room and remind him that I am not afraid of going back to jail.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by Axius

I feel like if I ever have a daughter, the first thing I'm going to do is keep one room empty with a fold out chair, one hanging light bulb that's about to burn out yet still flickers, a desk with an office chair, and all my guns on the wall.

When a boy comes over, I will politely escort him to said room and remind him that I am not afraid of going back to jail.

I have a buddy who is a hunter. He has 5 daughters, the oldest is 14. As a hunter, he has a few mounts in his office (yeah, I know... har har) He said he is going to get a dildo and put it up on his wall like a trophy for when he needs to sit some boys down for "the chat".

[Verbiage]

So much violence ITT.

[Axius]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

I have a buddy who is a hunter. He has 5 daughters, the oldest is 14. As a hunter, he has a few mounts in his office (yeah, I know... har har) He said he is going to get a dildo and put it up on his wall like a trophy for when he needs to sit some boys down for "the chat".

That's not a bad idea. Pure intimidation. Touch my daughter, you end up at the bottom of the ocean with concrete shoes you stupid little shit fuck.

Then kick him down a flight of stairs so he knows it's not a bluff.

[UncleWede]

My wife went about nuts when our oldest came home with a women who was about 15 years his senior, had a few kids. Nearly bat-shit crazy when he married her.

Seems to have forgotten all about her sister, and how much she loves her BIL, who snatched up said sister when she was early 20s and he was mid-40s. They are getting close to their 30th wedding anniversary after "17 WONDERFUL years"

[Mr Tonka]

2 months ago an acquaintance of ours finds out his wife is cheating on him. She makes it obvious because she wants a divorce. This is out of the blue for the guy, he's devastated, they've been together for 20 years met 1st year of college and have 3 kids. He wanted and still would work it out with her. She want's none of it. So his friends are telling him that he needs to move on as the divorce proceedings are in full swing.

This past weekend during a get together he shows up with a date. She's pretty, very pleasant, fit right into to all the conversations very easily, held her own in any one on one conversation. She seemed to fit right in and was at home with a group of people with ages ranging from 40 to 48. After they left everyone was talking about how nice she was and how everyone liked her and thought they were great for each other. Then they were shocked to find out that she was only 24 years of age.

Then, she was all wrong for him and he was all wrong for her. This threw me for a loop because their opinions seem to be well seated in what society considers "the norm".

So i pointed out that he and his soon to be ex-wife WAS "the norm". Met in college, dated for several years, got married, had kids, etc.... and i asked them all, how did that work out for them? A little bit of head scratching and then straight back to mob mentality thinking they are all wrong for each other.

I was in the minority of that group and it seems i'll be in the minority here as well.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

2 months ago an acquaintance of ours finds out his wife is cheating on him. She makes it obvious because she wants a divorce. This is out of the blue for the guy, he's devastated, they've been together for 20 years met 1st year of college and have 3 kids. He wanted and still would work it out with her. She want's none of it. So his friends are telling him that he needs to move on as the divorce proceedings are in full swing.

This past weekend during a get together he shows up with a date. She's pretty, very pleasant, fit right into to all the conversations very easily, held her own in any one on one conversation. She seemed to fit right in and was at home with a group of people with ages ranging from 40 to 48. After they left everyone was talking about how nice she was and how everyone liked her and thought they were great for each other. Then they were shocked to find out that she was only 24 years of age.

Then, she was all wrong for him and he was all wrong for her. This threw me for a loop because their opinions seem to be well seated in what society considers "the norm".

So i pointed out that he and his soon to be ex-wife WAS "the norm". Met in college, dated for several years, got married, had kids, etc.... and i asked them all, how did that work out for them? A little bit of head scratching and then straight back to mob mentality thinking they are all wrong for each other.

I was in the minority of that group and it seems i'll be in the minority here as well.

yeah... I admit that my reasoning is certainly not 100% rational. But it was honest. If confronted with the situation in real life I would need to have a real conversation with her about what she saw in him etc. (or his replacement, because I would probably kill the first one and have to try the new strategy on the second one.) If it is someone else's daughter, I will be more flexible. Heh.

[Verbiage]

I've gotta say, I'm glad that the women I've dated had cooler dad's than you guys.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by Verbiage

I've gotta say, I'm glad that the women I've dated had cooler dad's than you guys.

If her suitor was 15 years older AND he was 25, that is death for sure.

hehe...

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by Verbiage

I've gotta say, I'm glad that the women I've dated had cooler dad's than you guys.

They aren't. If you visit the forums they frequent you'll see the same tough talk. lol

[Axius]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

I was in the minority of that group and it seems i'll be in the minority here as well.

Even dating someone who was 7 years younger than me felt weird. Two completely different stages of life. I'm not saying it can't work, because I have seen it work, but lets face it, if I'm 40 and going out with a 25 year old, it would purely start out as attraction to banging a 25 year old again. Could it actually turn into more? Yeah, but normal every day life things can make it not work pretty easily.

[TBN54]

I got another question.

How do you girls feel about getting your ass eaten?

LAWL.

[GabeS]

Anything?

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by Axius

Even dating someone who was 7 years younger than me felt weird. Two completely different stages of life. I'm not saying it can't work, because I have seen it work, but lets face it, if I'm 40 and going out with a 25 year old, it would purely start out as attraction to banging a 25 year old again. Could it actually turn into more? Yeah, but normal every day life things can make it not work pretty easily.

I used to think the same but now i'm not so sure.

Clearly if the person in their 20's wants to go out clubbing every night and get wasted and the person in their 40's has not and never will be about that, it likely won't work. But from my experience, someone who spent a good portion of their 20's clubbing and partying that hard wouldn't be a candidate for me even if our ages were the same. That's a core personalty difference. I'm guessing the same may hold true for other people as well.

But the more i think about it, the more i don't see an issue with it, providing it's the right people. In my previous example, they both like cycling, running, shooting sports, art, travel, etc... This particular woman looked young, but didn't look like a little girl or anything. Maybe the fact that the 42 year old dude is Asian and she's not helps bridge the visual age difference. But intellectually, she fit right in. My wife has already asked her to go riding with her and have lunch since their fields are similar.

Seems to make sense to me. Young woman may help keep older dude young, into doing new things and having new life experiences. Older dude can offer past experiences to help young woman make informed decisions on certain things. Mutual attraction, mutual interests, similar goals, want the same things out of life. ....What's the issue again?

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

I used to think the same but now i'm not so sure.

Clearly if the person in their 20's wants to go out clubbing every night and get wasted and the person in their 40's has not and never will be about that, it likely won't work. But from my experience, someone who spent a good portion of their 20's clubbing and partying that hard wouldn't be a candidate for me even if our ages were the same. That's a core personalty difference. I'm guessing the same may hold true for other people as well.

But the more i think about it, the more i don't see an issue with it, providing it's the right people. In my previous example, they both like cycling, running, shooting sports, art, travel, etc... This particular woman looked young, but didn't look like a little girl or anything. Maybe the fact that the 42 year old dude is Asian and she's not helps bridge the visual age difference. But intellectually, she fit right in. My wife has already asked her to go riding with her and have lunch since their fields are similar.

Seems to make sense to me. Young woman may help keep older dude young, into doing new things and having new life experiences. Older dude can offer past experiences to help young woman make informed decisions on certain things. Mutual attraction, mutual interests, similar goals, want the same things out of life. ....What's the issue again?

Again, allowing for the fact that I am completely biased and this may be 100% justification and have no basis in fact, I offer this as the issue.
It is about an imbalance in the capacity to MAKE those decisions. I think that someone in their 20s may not be as settled in on what attracts them, interests them, what their goals are, what they want out of life. I think when they are both 20, those things evolve together and they grow together. When one is 40, they are more likely to be more set and less likely to evolve while she does. It is not about the location, it is about the journey and the likelihood of reaching the destination together and in one piece - figuratively speaking.

[UncleWede]

That was the thing with my son. He was HAPPY. Nuff said for me, I didn't have to put up with any of her daily BS, and she was quiet and respectful when she came to our house.

Oh, it lasted about a year. . . I think missing his family functions, and her father being a bigwig in a local Jehova's Witness group did them in.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

Again, allowing for the fact that I am completely biased and this may be 100% justification and have no basis in fact, I offer this as the issue.
It is about an imbalance in the capacity to MAKE those decisions. I think that someone in their 20s may not be as settled in on what attracts them, interests them, what their goals are, what they want out of life. I think when they are both 20, those things evolve together and they grow together. When one is 40, they are more likely to be more set and less likely to evolve while she does. It is not about the location, it is about the journey and the likelihood of reaching the destination together and in one piece - figuratively speaking.

I get that. Maybe only 15% justification, 5% fact and 80% depending on circumstances?.?.?.

For the guy in my example, he and his wife clearly evolved apart over 20 years and now there are 3 more kids in the world with divorced parents.

I guess i'm coming around to the idea that there is no set, tried and true formula for successful relationships. It's all dependent on the people involved and their ability to evolve with their mate.

Pairing your statement above and the example i provided in this thread, maybe the guy has learned his lesson about needing to evolve with his mate rather than just go down the path that he wants to go down or go down the path that's "normal". Maybe their being together is saving her from meeting someone her age, getting married, having kids, and getting divorced in 7 to 15 years.

[ASBSECU E93]

Ladies - at what age would you consider a mate too old to date?

Age gap specific - 10 years? 15 years? 20 years?

Asking for a friend