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View Poll Results: Am I at fault?
Yes, you are at fault 16 17.78%
No, you are not at fault 74 82.22%
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      11-27-2009, 01:46 AM   #45
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I got my ass whupped as a kid and thank god for that. If I didn't get beatings, I shudder to think how I would have turned out.

Your cousin deserved it. If it was me, I wouldn't have punched him though. A punch is too "abusive". I would have slapped him - more humiliating.

Kids these days are getting of too lightly. Stupid timeouts and talks. I hate the Politically Correct brigade and their utter B.S - especially their lets not offend other cultures/religions/people rubbish.
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      11-27-2009, 02:29 PM   #46
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sounds like the end justified the means. my grandfather used to just carry this yardstick with him and threatened to hit us if we didnt listen to him. he never did hit us with it but the threat of him doing so prevented me and my sister from jacking stuff up. sounds like this kid never suffered consequences for his actions before now.
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      11-27-2009, 05:21 PM   #47
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Do wha I did to several of my shithead little cousins. Put them in a headlock such as a full nelson or some such equivalent lock and really quiet in their ear explain in a low, severe tone that you will not take thier shit. Do not let them go if they cry or wimper and don't do the lock hard enough to hurt them, just enough to immobilize them and do not let them go until they acknolwedge your expectations. Trust me, they will be model children, at least around you. Its an Alpha dog thing. This doesn't work on girls. xP
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      11-27-2009, 05:37 PM   #48
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Discipline. 90% of Americans don't know what it is. I'm glad you did what you did. My dad was very strict when I was young. I got my ass whooped when I did something wrong. I will do the same when I have children.
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      11-30-2009, 12:49 PM   #49
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I STILL regret hitting my little brother, back when I was like 17 and he was 13.

But I have never spared the rod with my son, I just use the open hand on the butt to get attention and break the habit of whatever he was doing. (Learned that from Ceasar )

3 different times within 30 minutes I told him to quit throwing that beanbag frog in the house. 3rd time I took the frog and put it up where nobody was going to get it, and sent him to a room by himself. Walked in a few minutes later and asked what he did wrong, and he knew. He was embarrrassed and couldn't look at me, tears almost there. I told him to get out of the room and don't make me send him in there again, and we had no problems the rest of the night.

My wife is nicknamed "The Warden" and all the kids know chankla will hit the fan(ny) if she's around and you misbehave. They don't any more. . .
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      11-30-2009, 01:01 PM   #50
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12 is hardly a little boy. thats what, 7th grade? my group was boning in 7th grade. now that cant be used as a generality but the kid should not be acting that way at 12. sounds like you did him a favor. unless he surrounds himself with immature bratards like himself he is in for a brutal life. i bet the kid sits in front of a computer 18 hrs a day and has no social graces. if you can involve him in activities that will help his nutsack drop. sports maybe volunteering to learn some humility.
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      11-30-2009, 01:05 PM   #51
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America's standards are going down the drain. When I was a kid, my mom would put a ton of red pepper in my mouth if I said a bad word and my dad would not hesitate to teach me a lesson if I misbehaved. You quickly learn to stop acting like a little punk.
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      11-30-2009, 01:06 PM   #52
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Jaiman, you have said the most stupid things I've heard in my entire life.

And you have the dumbest posts I have read on this forum.
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      11-30-2009, 01:19 PM   #53
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OP did right by my book. So he hit his cousin, once; and for something he deserved. The parents should have thanked you for setting their kid straight. You should have asked whatever guardian that was present for your cousin, what they would have done in your place and how it would have benefited the kid.

To all those who are defending the kid: What if the kid started swinging around a metal leash and started to hit OP and break things. Would he be deserving of a beating then? Or what would be an appropriate punishment?

From what OP said in his initial post, he refused to give in to his cousin because he knew the little brat would swing the metal leash around and break stuff, so I will assume the brat has antagonized similarly in the past.
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      11-30-2009, 01:25 PM   #54
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I agree with the OP, kid deserved a punch hell he deserved a lot more I commend you for your leniency. My parents never hit me but when I was young, maybe 6 or 7 I put a piece of gum in the VCR, why I dont know just to fuck off I guess. My father calmly grabbed me walked me over to a wall in the living room and proceeded to punch a hole in it, then said to me if you ever do something stupid like that again I will punch a fucking hole in you. Needless to say I still have that image in my head 20 some years later, and I still think if I fuck up he will punch a hole in me.
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      11-30-2009, 01:35 PM   #55
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The worst thing a parent can do is to not punish their kids for their wrong doings. There's a saying in Vietnamese that roughly translates to something like this: if you love them then you give them sticks/canes; if you hate them then you give them sweets.

I think that pretty much speaks for itself.
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      11-30-2009, 01:39 PM   #56
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Big deal; it was your cousin. I would have slapped him or wrested him into a choke or armbar instead of hitting him with a closed fist simply because you can get in a shitload of legal trouble for that. If he's stupid enough to call you out, he's deserving of the consequences.

For those of you saying "you should never physically discipline a child", what you mean to say is "you should never have to physically discipline a child"; however, not all children are angels, and if we don't keep them in line, they're going to grow up like the young adults we're starting to see today: full of nothing but stupidity and utter disrespect for anything and everything. Ever notice that the kids causing the most trouble in your neighborhood or at your child's school are the results of either of two specific molds? There are the kids who get abused at home (which isn't right), and the kids who run rampant because their parents basically don't believe their kids need to be disciplined, or who don't believe in discipline....

I, for one, am glad my parents took the belt/wooden spoon/open hand to me every once in a while. I was a little brat at times; I'll admit it. And I can tell you for a fact that threatening to take privileges away paled in comparison to possibly getting my ass paddled raw. It's no coincidence that this tree-hugger movement to stop parents from properly disciplining their kids coincides with the most selfish, brattiest, fattest, and laziest generation in the history of the human race. Parents these days are against discipline because they have the luxury of sitting their kid in front of a gaming console (where the kid hides behind the "no consequences" environment of being behind the console; free ticket to act like a complete douche and tyrant) and forgetting that they exist; of course lazy-ass parents would push for that instead of actually having to monitor their childrens' lives and actively intervene when necessary.

Fucking hippies.

/rant
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      11-30-2009, 01:42 PM   #57
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i have an 8 year old and he knows better not to behave like a spoiled little shit. and if he does, i would be the first one to support a relative who smacks him for doing so, even though i would never hit him myself.
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      11-30-2009, 02:21 PM   #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Topless 335i View Post
Jaiman, you have said the most stupid things I've heard in my entire life.

And you have the dumbest posts I have read on this forum.
And I care what some ass in California thinks of me, why?



Anyway my original point, was that you shouldn't hit kids in anger. If you want to discipline your kids with a spanking that's your prerogative. But I don't think anyone’s interests are served if the child see that you are hitting them because you can't control your temper.

Generally, I'm not a fan of spanking as it teaches kids that they can use physical force to impose their will upon those weaker than them. And I'm even less of a fan of adults who can't come up with a better strategy than flying off the handle and hitting kids who are misbehaving.

So let's hear all the comments about me being a hippy, or soft or a woman. I wasn't spanked as a kid, neither were my brothers. We are all upstanding citizens who are successful, happy, law abiding, productive tax payers. Were we perfectly behaved as kids? No, of course not. But grounding or restricting privileges worked pretty well to show us what was and wasn’t acceptable behavior. The thing with a spanking is that the pain fades after a few minutes. A week with no TV, video games, friend’s houses after school, and an earlier than usual bedtime stays with you a lot longer and gives plenty of opportunities to reflect on why you can’t do certain things. Of course its a lot tougher for the parents to actual have to monitor what their kids are doing. Maybe that’s why some people like a quick spank.
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      11-30-2009, 02:23 PM   #59
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Quote:
Originally Posted by solefald View Post
i have an 8 year old and he knows better not to behave like a spoiled little shit. and if he does, i would be the first one to support a relative who smacks him for doing so, even though i would never hit him myself.
I am wondering about what you said there as to why? Because in Asian culture its usually the other way around, its ALWAYS ok for the kids parent to smack their kid around and they ALWAYS DO...in Asia. and its almost NEVER considered ok for any1 else besides the kids parents and grandparents (althought they never do) to hit the kid, because every1 assumes all the parents will hit so they don't have to.
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      11-30-2009, 02:28 PM   #60
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaiman View Post
I wasn't spanked as a kid, neither were my brothers. We are all upstanding citizens who are successful, happy, law abiding, productive tax payers.
What I think you are missing is that your situation is the exception rather than the rule. Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it'll work for anyone else. Likewise, I don't believe every child needs to be physically punished; there are a few good kids out there who have their heads on straight and simply fall out of line once in a long while.

That being said, these laws and crackdowns on parents are wrong IMO because they are taking away options and choices from the parents. The parent should be responsible for choosing the proper disciplinary action, and it shouldn't be any outsider's place to take away that choice. There is a line drawn at true abuse, and that should stay. Many children are abused, and it's sad, but it has nothing to do with paddling or proper physical punishment. Paddling is not like some gateway drug on the way to abuse.
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      11-30-2009, 02:28 PM   #61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaiman View Post
And I care what some ass in California thinks of me, why?



Anyway my original point, was that you shouldn't hit kids in anger. If you want to discipline your kids with a spanking that's your prerogative. But I don't think anyone’s interests are served if the child see that you are hitting them because you can't control your temper.

Generally, I'm not a fan of spanking as it teaches kids that they can use physical force to impose their will upon those weaker than them. And I'm even less of a fan of adults who can't come up with a better strategy than flying off the handle and hitting kids who are misbehaving.

So let's hear all the comments about me being a hippy, or soft or a woman. I wasn't spanked as a kid, neither were my brothers. We are all upstanding citizens who are successful, happy, law abiding, productive tax payers. Were we perfectly behaved as kids? No, of course not. But grounding or restricting privileges worked pretty well to show us what was and wasn’t acceptable behavior. The thing with a spanking is that the pain fades after a few minutes. A week with no TV, video games, friend’s houses after school, and an earlier than usual bedtime stays with you a lot longer and gives plenty of opportunities to reflect on why you can’t do certain things. Of course its a lot tougher for the parents to actual have to monitor what their kids are doing. Maybe that’s why some people like a quick spank.
You know whats funny, reading your post, I can't help but link your idea of disciplining children to Canada's foreign policy...I am not trying to clown on you, just an observation
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      11-30-2009, 02:46 PM   #62
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Quote:
Originally Posted by samwoo2go View Post
I am wondering about what you said there as to why?
It's ok to smack your kid in Russia too. It was also OK for our teachers to smack us for not listening, so there is no such thing as ADD or ADHD in Russia, as you can imagine, haha

He had some behavioral issues in school for a bit, but they all stopped after his computer and every single toy he had got taken away for a month.

I guess I've never had a reason to hit/smack my kid, and I'm not looking for one either. I am all for proper punishment, but I don't think that physical punishment is any more effective... On top of that if the word gets around that I hit my own kid for whatever reason, I will have to deal with a whole bunch of drama
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      11-30-2009, 02:57 PM   #63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Topless 335i View Post
Jaiman, you have said the most stupid things I've heard in my entire life.

And you have the dumbest posts I have read on this forum.
+1
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      11-30-2009, 03:41 PM   #64
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Quote:
Originally Posted by samwoo2go View Post
You know whats funny, reading your post, I can't help but link your idea of disciplining children to Canada's foreign policy...I am not trying to clown on you, just an observation
Perhaps you can enlighten me with your perception of Canada's foreign policy, because I'm not seeing the connection.

Are you talking about us not joining the US in Iraq? Are you aware that we have troops on the ground in Afganistan? Really not sure what you're trying to say.
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      11-30-2009, 04:18 PM   #65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaiman View Post
And I care what some ass in California thinks of me, why?



Anyway my original point, was that you shouldn't hit kids in anger. If you want to discipline your kids with a spanking that's your prerogative. But I don't think anyone’s interests are served if the child see that you are hitting them because you can't control your temper.

Generally, I'm not a fan of spanking as it teaches kids that they can use physical force to impose their will upon those weaker than them. And I'm even less of a fan of adults who can't come up with a better strategy than flying off the handle and hitting kids who are misbehaving.

So let's hear all the comments about me being a hippy, or soft or a woman. I wasn't spanked as a kid, neither were my brothers. We are all upstanding citizens who are successful, happy, law abiding, productive tax payers. Were we perfectly behaved as kids? No, of course not. But grounding or restricting privileges worked pretty well to show us what was and wasn’t acceptable behavior. The thing with a spanking is that the pain fades after a few minutes. A week with no TV, video games, friend’s houses after school, and an earlier than usual bedtime stays with you a lot longer and gives plenty of opportunities to reflect on why you can’t do certain things. Of course its a lot tougher for the parents to actual have to monitor what their kids are doing. Maybe that’s why some people like a quick spank.
What does the state in which that member resides in have to do with anything? What's with these closed minded Canadian trolls on board, anyways? By the way, by your first post, you have given recognition that the opinion of some "ass in California" does indeed matter to you.

You actually explained your argument. Why couldn't you have posted this from the start, instead of trolling around all guns blazing? Are you also saying that corporal punishment does not work?

Not trying to put words in your mouth, but by your general attitude, it really sounds like you're badmouthing everyone who disciples their children because you cannot accept corporal punishment as a working form of disciple. I know it may not be true, but I will assume most people on this board are upstanding citizens. You give yourself as an example of non-corporal punishiment, but judging by the sheer number of votes approving OP's actions, I will further assume they are also approving corporal punishment. Basically what I'm saying is, how can you argue with a tried and true method of disciplining children. Majority of people here seem to agree with it and I'm pretty sure most people here are upstanding citizens.


Quote:
Originally Posted by samwoo2go View Post
I am wondering about what you said there as to why? Because in Asian culture its usually the other way around, its ALWAYS ok for the kids parent to smack their kid around and they ALWAYS DO...in Asia. and its almost NEVER considered ok for any1 else besides the kids parents and grandparents (althought they never do) to hit the kid, because every1 assumes all the parents will hit so they don't have to.


As a kid, I usually was very well behaved. Thinking back, I can say that I deserved those beatings that I did receive. My parents never punished me in public. I still remember if I did something wrong, my mom would give me this look; then I'd shut up and behave cause I know I'm going to get punished when we get home. No one but my parents ever (needed to) hit me.
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      11-30-2009, 04:21 PM   #66
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Originally Posted by jaiman View Post
Perhaps you can enlighten me with your perception of Canada's foreign policy, because I'm not seeing the connection.

Are you talking about us not joining the US in Iraq? Are you aware that we have troops on the ground in Afganistan? Really not sure what you're trying to say.
I thought you didn't believe in violence.

Quote:
Generally, I'm not a fan of spanking as it teaches kids that they can use physical force to impose their will upon those weaker than them.

I'm going to back off now. Feel like I'm
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