[ASAP]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Sounds to me like you vetted her perfectly. Even if she checked multiple boxes, you like to have a drink now and then and she has an aversion. This is the type of little thing that becomes a big thing down the road. Sometimes discussions like this aren't easy, but they're almost always necessary.

right... but is that something petty and may a decent girl have gotten away?

Point is... if everyone is this picky... i.e. the women... no one is ever meeting anyone lol... and based on the comments here about the apps... this seems to hold very true.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you and what part of ATL are you in?

42 and Smyrna but right on the Hooch so I do everything ITP. The girls I've gone out with all lived ITP.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

TBH some of the issues you guys are having is you're aware of "The Crazy". Sexist it may be but man, a good share of women are irrational nut cases and young guys tend to ignore the warning signs but you guys around 30 are clearly not having any of it.

I haven't had a lot of experience. I was in a cohabitation situation for a decade before being released to the wild. The last long one was the friend of a friend and I definitely ignored warning signs because she was a living barbie doll who was a legit nympho. I basically tolerated it until it turned violent because I was constantly dehydrated. Her dad died when she was 8 though so she has HORRIBLE abandoned issues. Essentially any time we got serious she would lose her mind and sabotage it.

This one seemed far more chill, the family history didn't come out until later and it coincided with her basically shutting down during a mild dispute. She admitted her dad was an abusive alcoholic. He didn't die though and they reconciled, so who knows. No signs of extreme behavior though, just runs away

She is back online and we're supposed to hang out tomorrow.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by ASAP

If I was a girl... I am not sure these are things I'd want to talk about when I just met you

Yeah, but he isn't wrong. I guess we just need a tactical way to ask it.

[shimmy23]

one things for sure; there's always another fish in the sea. men can and should be selective too. throw her back. another will come. there are still plenty good ones out there... although i will say less of them as they get older. mid 30s-40s and still single... better ask yourself why.

[eluded]

Originally Posted by shimmy23

one things for sure; there's always another fish in the sea. men can and should be selective too. throw her back. another will come. there are still plenty good ones out there... although i will say less of them as they get older. mid 30s-40s and still single... better ask yourself why.

Those big fish are rare. They’re hard to catch and all of the skilled anglers are doing everything they can to land them. It’s all about supply and demand.

[ryan stewart]

Yeah Id totally date a non-drinker as long as they were totally cool with ME drinking because I think I get legit drunk 4x a year and sloppy once every few years (usually cocktails when hosting a party, I can never tell how much is in one). But you do have to know the why, I did know a guy who tried with this one gal (they met IRL BTW) and she would act like having a beer when he got home was domestic abuse. Turns out her dad was an akly and that is why her mom left him ages ago.

One challenge for me is I cant be too picky on the messy family life because mine was messy; dad left mom before I could remember, likely cheating, they hated each other, didn't really have much of a relationship with him until I was 15, but stepdad was awesome. And because these chicks I seem to draw in are bad asses at literally every other factor of life, maybe they compensate for the insecurity by kicking a ton of ass.

But, yeah, no more dead dads for sure.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by shimmy23

one things for sure; there's always another fish in the sea. men can and should be selective too. throw her back. another will come. there are still plenty good ones out there... although i will say less of them as they get older. mid 30s-40s and still single... better ask yourself why.

They could say the same about us...

I mean, I cohabitated for a decade but never married no kids, so Id think that would be a red flag for a lot of women.

[ASAP]

Originally Posted by Soul_Glo

Let that marinade. Anyhow, you never know.. despite not having at least one drink.. she might have been okay with you drinking. The one that got away? Who knows. So long as she didn’t sit there and tell you that you should stop and she never wants to be with someone who has a drink then it’s okay. It’s like people know.. not everyone is going to be a virgin. No one is perfect.

I have a few heavy drinking uncles (my dad’s brothers). Some have followed in their father’s footsteps and drink themselves to oblivion at times. Some have seen an entire family torn apart by alcohol. They don’t drink but they live with people who do.

As long as she didn’t make a big deal.. and cut you off because of it.. it’s worth seeing where it might go. Sometimes the right girl can change a man. Your drinking might decrease as you enjoy her company so much.. who knows. I think it’s worth meeting her again and just see where it goes.

Oh I agree with you 100%... we didn't click for other reasons... but this was not an excluder of her for me... I just wanted to understand the "why" and I got my answer which made sense.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

42 and Smyrna but right on the Hooch so I do everything ITP. The girls I've gone out with all lived ITP.

Cool. I'm 47, up in Alpharetta. There are some interesting people here to say the least.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Cool. I'm 47, up in Alpharetta. There are some interesting people here to say the least.

If I extended my profile to go that far out that is where the "Lets go Brandon" shirts and "Unvaxxed men only" profiles started showing up....



I run in the city mainly, where the challenge is finding someone my own age. I tend to run around with people in the mid 30s (current girl from Bumble is as well) just because they share the same lifestyle (other than the luxuries being old comes with, like home ownership and other forms of personal wealth).

You should bring your modded E30 to Pops Coffee (Roswell) sometime Im heading out there on the way to the mountains, would be interesting to see it. I had an S50E30 before getting into bikes.

[FullFatDoom]

Come for the Tinder stories, stay for the budding bromance here

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

You should bring your modded E30 to Pops Coffee (Roswell) sometime Im heading out there on the way to the mountains, would be interesting to see it. I had an S50E30 before getting into bikes.

Let me know when you're there next, Pop's is one of my favorite coffee spots in town. I work remotely and hit it about one per month.

[ryan stewart]

Will do, we love to run up there and see who is out and about when the weather gets nice, often on Sundays.

Originally Posted by FullFatDoom

Come for the Tinder stories, stay for the budding bromance here

Dont blow my game!

[ryan stewart]

So on the original topic, we did have a good valentines date night (not really valentines, just rode the bike to a brewery and dinner) but looks like we are back on track.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

So on the original topic, we did have a good valentines date night (not really valentines, just rode the bike to a brewery and dinner) but looks like we are back on track.

Glad to hear. It's always tricky balancing the fact that no one is perfect with setting and enforcing boundaries for yourself. It's definitely more of an art than a science.

[ryan stewart]

It helps she acknowledged she basically withdrew and agreed it made the situation worse.

We really get along but I kind of have the feeling we might end up being more of a drinking/riding buddy. We get along and have a blast when hanging out but seems a bit too timid/introverted for me long term. I have a strong personality and I kind of need the same.

Might give it a couple more weeks before having the discussion, she could still be someone to hang out with if she is game.

[ASAP]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

It helps she acknowledged she basically withdrew and agreed it made the situation worse.

We really get along but I kind of have the feeling we might end up being more of a drinking/riding buddy. We get along and have a blast when hanging out but seems a bit too timid/introverted for me long term. I have a strong personality and I kind of need the same.

Might give it a couple more weeks before having the discussion, she could still be someone to hang out with if she is game.

Does that actually work lol... bcuz i've never seen that work.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by ASAP

Does that actually work lol... bcuz i've never seen that work.

LOL yeah Im not expecting to but we shall see, obviously it would be a no go if I ended up with someone else though as I doubt they would want her around.

[ryan stewart]

Yeah so that one fizzled, she was back into the push/pull stuff (not a shocker after hearing about the family history) so I got bored and bailed. Also the weirdness about a female acquaintance of mine made me worried about trust issues.

Multiple dates since and its been, umm, interesting. Zero catfishes so far, I think Im just more critical of profiles and pics and easily spot the obvious photoshop (or the fact that one of a 38 year old womans pics has "25" balloons behind her at what obviously looks like her birthday party.

Everyone looks like their pics but Im wondering if there is a woman out there in her late 30s/early 40s without some sort of unresolved trauma. Had a few of those and you could tell off the bat as they would get super clingy from the get.

Probably one of the oddest ones was a wannabe sugar momma. You could tell she got divorced for the childhood friend but got the farm (guess they were heavy hitters, massive house and 8k/mo in alimony) and was looking for a revenge relationship. When I was younger I probably would have gone for it but you could tell it would be short lived and volatile.

The interesting thing is they have all been successful women. Either business owners, dynamic careers, badass hobbies, etc. But then the trauma comes up. Oh well, guess that is why they are single.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by ASAP

Does that actually work lol... bcuz i've never seen that work.

She actually hit me up when she was out like "Hey, is that your bike" when at trendy areas where I'd likely be hanging out (and her too, similar tastes).

[Watching The World Burn]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

But then the trauma comes up. Oh well, guess that is why they are single.

Be interesting to hear what the women say about the single men. I'm sure they say basically the exact same thing "Oh well, that's why he's single"...it's just the "why" I'm curious about. I'm certain its on both ends though.

Dating just sounds like a complete clown show these days. Am so glad to be married.