[SenorFunkyPants]

Helpful tips if you ever visit:
Facebook post by American Scott Waters

I was in England again a few weeks ago, mostly in small towns, but here's some of what I noticed:
* Almost everyone is very polite
* The food is generally outstanding
* There are no guns
* There are too many narrow stairs
* Everything is just a little bit different
* The pubs close too early
* The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards
* Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms.
* You'd better like peas, potatoes and sausage
* Refrigerators and washing machines are very small
* Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter
* People don't seem to be afraid of their neighbors or the government
* Their paper money makes sense, the coins don't
* Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare
* Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them?
* Pants are called "trousers", underwear are "pants" and sweaters are "jumpers"
* The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling
* "Fanny" is a naughty word, as is "shag"
* All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar.
* There's no dress code
* Doors close by themselves, but they don't always open
* They eat with their forks upside down
* The English are as crazy about their gardens as Americans are about cars
* They don't seem to use facecloths or napkins or maybe they’re just less messy than we are
* The wall outlets all have switches, some don't do anything
* There are hardly any cops or police cars
* 5,000 year ago, someone arranged a lot of rocks all over, but no one is sure why
* When you do see police they seem to be in male & female pairs and often smiling
* Black people are just people: they didn't quite do slavery here
* Everything comes with chips, which are French Fries. You put vinegar on them
* Cookies are "biscuits" and potato chips are "crisps"
* HP sauce is better then catsup
* Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot.
* After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food
* The water controls in showers need detailed instructions
* They will boil anything
* Folks don't always lock their bikes
* It's not unusual to see people dressed different and speaking different languages
* Your electronic devices will work fine with just a plug adapter
* Nearly everyone is better educated then we are
* If someone buys you a drink you must do the same
* There are no guns
* Look right, walk left. Again; look right, walk left. You're welcome.
* Avoid British wine and French beer
* It's not that hard to eat with the fork in your left hand with a little practice. If you don't, everyone knows you're an American
* Many of the roads are the size of our sidewalks
* There's no AC
* Instead of turning the heat up, you put on a jumper
* Gas is "petrol", it costs about $6 a gallon and is sold by the liter
* If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Period. Always
* You don't have to tip, really!
* Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Cornwall really are different countries
* Only 14% of Americans have a passport, almost everyone in the UK does
* You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in
* Walking is the national pastime
* Their TV looks and sounds much better then ours
* They took the street signs down during WWII, but haven't put them all back up yet
* Everyone enjoys a good joke
* There are no guns
* Dogs are very well behaved and welcome everywhere
* There are no window screens
* You can get on a bus and end up in Paris
* Everyone knows more about our history then we do
* Radio is still a big deal. The BBC is quite good
* The newspapers can be awful
* Everything costs the same but our money is worth less so you have to add 50% to the price to figure what you're paying
* Beer comes in large, completely filled, actual pint glasses and the closer the brewery the better the beer
* Butter and eggs aren't refrigerated
* The beer isn't warm, each style is served at the proper temperature
* Cider (alcoholic) is quite good.
* Excess cider consumption can be very painful.
* The universal greeting is "Cheers" (pronounced "cheeahz" unless you are from Cornwall, in which case it's "chairz")
* The money is easy to understand: 1-2-5-10-20-50 pence, £1-£2 coins and £5-£10, etc bills. There are no quarters.
* Their cash makes ours look like Monopoly money
* Cars don't have bumper stickers
* Many doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America
* By law, there are no crappy, old cars
* When the sign says something was built in 456, they didn't lose the "1"
* Cake is is pudding, ice cream is pudding, anything served for desert is pudding, even pudding
* BBC 4 is NPR
* Everything closes by 1800 (6pm)
* Very few people smoke, those who do often roll their own
* You're defined by your accent
* No one in Cornwall knows what the hell a Cornish Game Hen is
* Football is a religion, religion is a sport
* Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse
* The trains work: a three minute delay is regrettable
* Drinks don't come with ice
* There are far fewer fat English people
* There are a lot of healthy old folks around participating in life instead of hiding at home watching tv
* If you're over 60, you get free tv and bus and rail passes.
* They don't use Bose anything anywhere
* Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste
* Every pub seems to have a pet drunk
* Their healthcare works, but they still bitch about it
* Cake is one of the major food groups
* Their coffee is mediocre but the tea is wonderful
* There are still no guns
* Towel warmers!
* Cheers

[HFW003]

Well said that man.

Having been to both countries, Pommy land more than the States, I think he's got most of that correct.

[1smokehouse]

Lol, good read...

Just one question, do you guys have any guns?

[GlobalScientist]

Some truth, some not so much. Does make me miss London through. I think it's a wonderful city. Other places in the UK ... meh.

[Delta0311]

This is coming from a Polak

America IS NUMERO UNO!!!!!!

[CANGRKE70]

I've been to London a couple of times. It's nice, weather can be shitty. People do dress a lot better.

[IndotagSwizz]

most European countries share the whole "smaller everything"....I don't get the cold beer thing, I never gotten a warm beer here..

[MightyMouseTech]

The one that I always remember.

Europeans think 100 miles is a long way, Americans think 100 years is a long time.

[Mr Tonka]

Originally Posted by 1smokehouse

Lol, good read...

Just one question, do you guys have any guns?

Author didn't preface which ones were positive or negative differences. I'm assuming that the constant "There are no guns", coming from an American is emphasizing a negative difference. lol

[EALm4]

Why do pubs close so early? Where can I go for a late night pint?

[M_Six]

Didn't read all of them to see, but I'll add that the Brits generally don't bring small children or infants to nice restaurants. And I agree, their food is much better, mostly owing to being less processed and with little or no chemical additions (preservatives, etc).

The 100 miles thing is correct and funny. Some Brits I spoke with were shocked that Wifey and I drove from London to York. Basically a 5 hour drive. Brits would take the train, which is admittedly faster by quite a bit, but it means hauling your luggage around. We tried the train thing on our first trip and hated it. We've rented cars for both subsequent trips and will again when we go next fall.

I miss Brit fish and chips.

And no half-and-half for your coffee. Just milk.

[hwalk]

Originally Posted by M_Six

.... their food is much better...

Sorry for asking: Are you serious ?...People who put vinegar on their fries, use Worcester Sauce and eat things like kidney pies... I always liked the food in the US...

[GlobalScientist]

Growing number of pubs serve other foods like Thai food. Food is definitely getting better, but even the Brits acknowledge their food is just okay. They would rather have Indian food than typical fish and chips for sure. Why they like their Nescafe instant coffee, I have no idea. It's the worst. I gave a mate there a bag of DD coffee (grinded) and she told be next morning while it smelt great, it was a bit lumpy (she just put it directly in the cup with hot water)!

Actually, they are starting to have half and half there. Full cream there is called pouring cream and they started making a lighter version which is creamier than our half and half - though still not that close.

I think its just wonderful there, but for an ex-pat you have to stay there longer than a year to get the lowdown of things. Love, love the markets - that's really one of the things I wish they had more of in the US.

[P1]

Amusing read, but after having lived in Surrey for six years, he cannot be serious that British food is outstanding...

[GrantE83]

As living in England, I'm sure when he mentioned polite people he must not of been in London.

But none the less I have family in Cornwall where he visited etc and he has a lot of it pretty accurate.

Was a great read and it managed to go viral on facebook lol

[KingOfJericho]

Spent a week in London and the food was shit and I don't think the people were friendly - and I've worked in NYC for 12 years. That being said, Italians are the most friendly people (as a whole) that I've come across, yet Romans were more jaded and less warm so it could just be a big city thing.

I'm not saying there are not places in London with good food but, generally speaking, I found the food flavorless. I do appreciate that there is no open container law. It was a real trip for me to see people drinking beer on the street.

[DrFerry]

There are plenty of guns in the U.K. Criminals have easy access to them. Guns are available in the U.K. on the black market. Only the law abiding people in the U.K. don't have guns. SenorFunkyPants and I have a shared a difference of opinion on this subject before. This is not a personal attack on him, but the post text seems to have a hidden agenda and cater to the media anti-gun narrative bias.

I lived in England for twenty years, was educated there, born there and I know the place well. I am now an American citizen. England is presently considering banning knives. God help them if the populace ever have to defend themselves.

In the middle ages only Knights could own a sword. Serfs and peasants could own sticks (remember Friar Tuck was good with a stick). Anyway, only the criminals in England have guns so they can commit crimes against law abiding unarmed English folks who are banned from owning guns. Poor sods.

[M_Six]

Originally Posted by hwalk

Sorry for asking: Are you serious ?...People who put vinegar on their fries, use Worcester Sauce and eat things like kidney pies... I always liked the food in the US...

Maybe their food styles are not to your liking. That's reasonable. Wifey wasn't impressed with German food because it's so heavy and meat based. On the other hand, I love German food.

But what I was referring to is the quality of their ingredients. They use far less additives and processed food. My wife has some food allergies and had no problems in the UK. We traveled once with a friend of hers who has gluten allergies and yet she had fewer problems in the UK with bread products. When we got home we started looking onto it and discovered the differences in food production and processing between the US and the UK (or Europe in general). Next time you are food shopping, read some labels. You'll be amazed where you find things like milk by-products. Read up on Tyson and other meat mega-processors.

That said, those of you who live in or near big cities in the US have a huge advantage over those of us who live in the boonies. When we travel to NYC or Boston or Chicago for conferences, we take advantage of the excellent restaurants available in those cities because we just can't get food like that here in the cornfields. I'm always amazed how even hole-in-the-wall neighborhood eateries in NYC are gourmet level compared to the best restaurants we have in our area. Same with the grocery stores. Our local market often has fuzzy tomatoes or browning, soggy salad. The markets here are terrible.

[M_Six]

"If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Period. Always"

Disagree here. I saw lots of people speeding and getting away with it. The locals seem to know where the cameras are and speed along where they aren't. Try driving the speed limit on the motorway and you'll see what I mean. Just stay out of the right lane (fast lane there) if you're not speeding.

He must not have driven much because he doesn't say a thing about the round-abouts *everywhere*. Very few four-way-stop intersections in the UK. But outside the cities there will be a round-about every other mile or so. And they love to park in the street no matter how narrow the street is. Makes navigating through small towns a hair raising experience.

[SenorFunkyPants]

I liked Scotts Facebook post, I though it was well written and funny.
Its interesting to get your diverse views and experiences of England.
I would say that you can eat some really pretty rubbish food here, you can also eat some of the best. Where I live its a fairly small town but in the area you can still eat a great hamburger, go to a Nepalese restaurant run by Gurkhas and most everything in between...often its just knowing where to go.
London can be a bit odd...with so many people often in confined areas, trying to get a bit of personal space can be a problem. On the tube in particular - I recall being asked a question by some Japanese tourists and not knowing the answer I risked asking the guy next to me for the answer - jeez the look he gave me! it was like I'd asked him for a lick of his balls or something. Etiquette on the tube is don't talk to anyone you don't know.

[SenorFunkyPants]

Originally Posted by P1et

Amusing read, but after having lived in Surrey for six years,

Whereabouts....I lived in Surrey for quite a while...you need proper money to live there now.

[P1]

Originally Posted by SenorFunkyPants

Whereabouts....I lived in Surrey for quite a while...you need proper money to live there now.

Lived outside of Woking twice. First was Hook Heath by the golf club, then Horsell.

My brother since moved away from Woking, and has lived in London for the past decade.