any other divorcees in here?

matt.love84 · 11-02-2007, 12:10 AM

Just put in pictures of the current girl who I'm into, SOOO.. this may be NWS, don't scroll all the way down guys, just.. don't.. do it!

Well, after about 8 months of being alone.. I've finally started dating another lady.

I don't at all have any odd feelings about it, but at the same time.. I'm feeling that at times she takes into consideration that she MAY feel like the 2nd, or that I may be damaged goods.. when none of this is true.

I split up with my wife of 2 years just over the fact that we had such different goals in life I just didn't feel that it was RIGHT for me to be in a relationship where goals (children, etc) that I have.. could be non existent, and starting over at that point would be so hard.

Anyway.. to any of you who are divorced.. Did you ever get over these feelings? do you look at entering a relationship now completely different?

Last night I gave her the "maybe i'm not ready for a relationship" speach and in return I got the "well I'm here, and I WILL wait".

that blew me away.

Anyway.. sorry for the rant, or the whatever this may be. I just want to get a few of your guys' opinions who have been there and done that.

rock on

UncleWede · 11-02-2007, 11:14 AM

First time I was married for a little under 2 years. We divorced for vaguley similar reasons you did, but my wife took it a different way and had a kid with someone else.

I dated several people, many of them also divorced. There is ALWAYS baggage, in both peoples' trunks, wether divorcee or not. If you don't mind, and they accept you for who you really are, it's all part of the experience that makes you the unique individual you are.

My second (current) wife we've been together for almost 9 years, married for 3 of them, and have a son who is 8. She still "has to be involved" with her previous husband because of their son (my middle son). I have no problem with it other than when he calls looking for his kid after midnight and he's all buzzed. But I knew she was a package deal when I got involved.

She HATES that I am still friends with my ex-wife. I won't lie, I still love her, but that in no way jeapordizes my relationship, at least in my eyes, with my current wife. I don't take away from my existing relationship or go out of my way to spend time with my former. I see her once in a while, around town, or we get together for lunch on each others' birthday. Hell, I used to play cards, AFTER the divorce, with the guy she had the kid with. I was instrumental in getting him a job with my company at one point. I (sorta) jokingly did it so I could watch him, make sure he took good care of her. I see them together now periodically, with the kids, and I know they made the right decision to stick together, even at my expense.

If you have someone who is willing to be patient with you, give you some space and let you work things out, that is indeed a special one you might want to think about keeping around.

MoreCowbell · 11-08-2007, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UncleWede

She HATES that I am still friends with my ex-wife. I won't lie, I still love her, but that in no way jeapordizes my relationship, at least in my eyes, with my current wife. I don't take away from my existing relationship or go out of my way to spend time with my former. I see her once in a while, around town, or we get together for lunch on each others' birthday. Hell, I used to play cards, AFTER the divorce, with the guy she had the kid with. I was instrumental in getting him a job with my company at one point. I (sorta) jokingly did it so I could watch him, make sure he took good care of her. I see them together now periodically, with the kids, and I know they made the right decision to stick together, even at my expense.

MadDog · 11-08-2007, 02:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by matt.love84

...
Last night I gave her the "maybe i'm not ready for a relationship" speach and in return I got the "well I'm here, and I WILL wait".
...

Sounds like a keeper to me....

UncleWede · 11-08-2007, 10:04 AM

Not EVERYONE ends in divorce with a lot of hatred, sometimes it just doesn't wok out. . .

MoreCowbell · 11-08-2007, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Not EVERYONE ends in divorce with a lot of hatred, sometimes it just doesn't wok out. . .

I give you credit my friend!!!

335i4u2nv · 11-08-2007, 01:35 PM

not to be an ass but this thread is dead without PICS! lol im kidding i broke up with my ex fiance after 4 1/2 yrs and we were to get married 3 months months before we broke up. i knew i would have divorced her ass in a yr or 2 so we ended it.

Ru$$ell · 11-08-2007, 01:43 PM

Wow,you guys have been through alot,stories like these scare me into getting married and stuff cause no one wants to go through a divorce,but heck,i'm only 23,according to my old man,i still got my entire life infront of me.

matt.love84 · 11-08-2007, 01:57 PM

23 here as well. Still a young one. Let's just say, I'm currently dating a Russian.. and holy hell.. I will NEVER go back. She's been someone who just seems to fully understand my thinking habits haha.

EVER.

haha.

now I understand as to why James Bond is so into Russia..

MCS · 11-08-2007, 02:14 PM

Damn - nice girl friend. Thats a good way to forget an ex.

I it me, or does the 2nd photo remind me of fem-bot?

matt.love84 · 11-08-2007, 02:18 PM

I can assure you that she doesn't have "machine gun boobies" haha.

MCS · 11-08-2007, 02:26 PM

nice. as for understanding thinking habits, I'm not sure if there's a whole lot of thoughts other than carnal with your GF.

Back to topic. I'm a pretty happily married guy for 7 years, however, we have close friends who have gotten divorced. A close buddy of mine who got engaged at the same time we did (shared ring stories), went to their wedding (1st wedding after ours) and used to hang out with got diverced after about a year and a half.

Took him about 2 years to get over the relationship He is now pretty serios with a new girl, but I'm not as close to him as I once was. There's somewhat of a different mindset for a married guy to hang out with single bachelor guys or vice versa unfortunately. (in some ways, we always think the other side is greener)

That being said - Time heals all things.

Ru$$ell · 11-08-2007, 04:04 PM

my word,she looks gorgeous,wish they had alot more russians where i'm from,lol.

MoreCowbell · 11-08-2007, 04:36 PM

If I were single, i'd have poked her.

Very attractive.

bartman32 · 11-08-2007, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by matt.love84

Last night I gave her the "maybe i'm not ready for a relationship" speach and in return I got the "well I'm here, and I WILL wait".

A few years after my divorce I gave a girl that speach too. She said about that thing. We've now been married for 2 1/2 years!

Couldn't be happier!

BTW: Married for 8 1/2 years the first time before the divorce. No kids and no contact with her. It's not that I'm still mad just no reason to anymore.

dlwhite · 11-08-2007, 05:37 PM

Matt I gots one word for you lady красивейше! (Krasivaya)

phatr1s · 11-08-2007, 05:50 PM

Russian? from which christmas catalog you ordered..lol

matt.love84 · 11-08-2007, 05:54 PM

I'll find out. No worries. She's actually from the Ukraine and moved to Moscow when she was 5. She came out here just a few years ago.

11-02-2007, 12:10 AM	#1
matt.love84 xXx 67 Rep 82 Posts Drives: 2006 E90. Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: San Diego, CA iTrader: (0)	any other divorcees in here? Just put in pictures of the current girl who I'm into, SOOO.. this may be NWS, don't scroll all the way down guys, just.. don't.. do it! Well, after about 8 months of being alone.. I've finally started dating another lady. I don't at all have any odd feelings about it, but at the same time.. I'm feeling that at times she takes into consideration that she MAY feel like the 2nd, or that I may be damaged goods.. when none of this is true. I split up with my wife of 2 years just over the fact that we had such different goals in life I just didn't feel that it was RIGHT for me to be in a relationship where goals (children, etc) that I have.. could be non existent, and starting over at that point would be so hard. Anyway.. to any of you who are divorced.. Did you ever get over these feelings? do you look at entering a relationship now completely different? Last night I gave her the "maybe i'm not ready for a relationship" speach and in return I got the "well I'm here, and I WILL wait". that blew me away. Anyway.. sorry for the rant, or the whatever this may be. I just want to get a few of your guys' opinions who have been there and done that. rock on Last edited by matt.love84; 11-08-2007 at 01:58 PM..
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11-02-2007, 11:14 AM	#2
UncleWede Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner 18430 Rep 9,426 Posts Drives: G01 X3 M40i Dark Graphite Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Oxnard, CA iTrader: (0)	First time I was married for a little under 2 years. We divorced for vaguley similar reasons you did, but my wife took it a different way and had a kid with someone else. I dated several people, many of them also divorced. There is ALWAYS baggage, in both peoples' trunks, wether divorcee or not. If you don't mind, and they accept you for who you really are, it's all part of the experience that makes you the unique individual you are. My second (current) wife we've been together for almost 9 years, married for 3 of them, and have a son who is 8. She still "has to be involved" with her previous husband because of their son (my middle son). I have no problem with it other than when he calls looking for his kid after midnight and he's all buzzed. But I knew she was a package deal when I got involved. She HATES that I am still friends with my ex-wife. I won't lie, I still love her, but that in no way jeapordizes my relationship, at least in my eyes, with my current wife. I don't take away from my existing relationship or go out of my way to spend time with my former. I see her once in a while, around town, or we get together for lunch on each others' birthday. Hell, I used to play cards, AFTER the divorce, with the guy she had the kid with. I was instrumental in getting him a job with my company at one point. I (sorta) jokingly did it so I could watch him, make sure he took good care of her. I see them together now periodically, with the kids, and I know they made the right decision to stick together, even at my expense. If you have someone who is willing to be patient with you, give you some space and let you work things out, that is indeed a special one you might want to think about keeping around.
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11-08-2007, 10:04 AM	#5
UncleWede Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner 18430 Rep 9,426 Posts Drives: G01 X3 M40i Dark Graphite Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Oxnard, CA iTrader: (0)	Not EVERYONE ends in divorce with a lot of hatred, sometimes it just doesn't wok out. . .
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11-08-2007, 01:35 PM	#7
335i4u2nv Colonel 69 Rep 2,765 Posts Drives: 335i e9O sL0w Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: im right behind u iTrader: (0)	not to be an ass but this thread is dead without PICS! lol im kidding i broke up with my ex fiance after 4 1/2 yrs and we were to get married 3 months months before we broke up. i knew i would have divorced her ass in a yr or 2 so we ended it.
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11-08-2007, 01:43 PM	#8
Ru$$ell M0derator 127 Rep 237 Posts Drives: your mom Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Trinidad and Tobago iTrader: (0)	Wow,you guys have been through alot,stories like these scare me into getting married and stuff cause no one wants to go through a divorce,but heck,i'm only 23,according to my old man,i still got my entire life infront of me. __________________ durka durka, mohammed jihad
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11-08-2007, 01:57 PM	#9
matt.love84 xXx 67 Rep 82 Posts Drives: 2006 E90. Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: San Diego, CA iTrader: (0)	23 here as well. Still a young one. Let's just say, I'm currently dating a Russian.. and holy hell.. I will NEVER go back. She's been someone who just seems to fully understand my thinking habits haha. EVER. haha. now I understand as to why James Bond is so into Russia..
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11-08-2007, 02:14 PM	#10
MCS e90 newbie 38 Rep 448 Posts Drives: 2012 M3 E93 Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Northern NJ iTrader: (2) Garage List 2006 330i [0.00]	Damn - nice girl friend. Thats a good way to forget an ex. I it me, or does the 2nd photo remind me of fem-bot? __________________ E93 IL Blue M3 ZPP, ZCW
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11-08-2007, 02:18 PM	#11
matt.love84 xXx 67 Rep 82 Posts Drives: 2006 E90. Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: San Diego, CA iTrader: (0)	I can assure you that she doesn't have "machine gun boobies" haha.
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11-08-2007, 02:26 PM	#12
MCS e90 newbie 38 Rep 448 Posts Drives: 2012 M3 E93 Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Northern NJ iTrader: (2) Garage List 2006 330i [0.00]	nice. as for understanding thinking habits, I'm not sure if there's a whole lot of thoughts other than carnal with your GF. Back to topic. I'm a pretty happily married guy for 7 years, however, we have close friends who have gotten divorced. A close buddy of mine who got engaged at the same time we did (shared ring stories), went to their wedding (1st wedding after ours) and used to hang out with got diverced after about a year and a half. Took him about 2 years to get over the relationship He is now pretty serios with a new girl, but I'm not as close to him as I once was. There's somewhat of a different mindset for a married guy to hang out with single bachelor guys or vice versa unfortunately. (in some ways, we always think the other side is greener) That being said - Time heals all things. __________________ E93 IL Blue M3 ZPP, ZCW
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11-08-2007, 04:04 PM	#13
Ru$$ell M0derator 127 Rep 237 Posts Drives: your mom Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Trinidad and Tobago iTrader: (0)	my word,she looks gorgeous,wish they had alot more russians where i'm from,lol. __________________ durka durka, mohammed jihad
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11-08-2007, 04:36 PM	#14
MoreCowbell Lieutenant Colonel 530 Rep 1,701 Posts Drives: 24 i5M60 23 X740 23 Vette Z06 Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Westchester, NY iTrader: (0)	If I were single, i'd have poked her. Very attractive.
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11-08-2007, 05:37 PM	#16
dlwhite First Lieutenant 37 Rep 324 Posts Drives: Sparkling Graphite 2007 335xi Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: NJ iTrader: (0) Garage List 2007 335xi [0.00]	Matt I gots one word for you lady красивейше! (Krasivaya) __________________ 1987 Black on Black Mitsubishi Starion ESiR 2007 Sparkling Graphite 335xi
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11-08-2007, 05:50 PM	#17
phatr1s First Lieutenant 27 Rep 363 Posts Drives: M4 Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: TX iTrader: (1) Garage List 2007 335i [0.00] 2007 335i [0.00] 2007 335i [0.00]	Russian? from which christmas catalog you ordered..lol
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11-08-2007, 05:54 PM	#18
matt.love84 xXx 67 Rep 82 Posts Drives: 2006 E90. Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: San Diego, CA iTrader: (0)	I'll find out. No worries. She's actually from the Ukraine and moved to Moscow when she was 5. She came out here just a few years ago.
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