[1MOREMOD]

Did you at least hit anyone around you.

[KingOfJericho]

No, there was nobody next to me. That would have been a fun one to explain to the cops.

[1MOREMOD]

If you're asleep it doesn't count, beat my wife this way also and claim bad dreams

[carzaddict]

Originally Posted by sirdaft1

I'll kick this off...

Quite a few years ago on some random day in the middle of the week, I was at the grocery store ordering sliced deli turkey meat from the busy deli counter. When my number was called I asked the woman behind the counter for a pound of turkey that was sliced extra thin. She walked away to grab the turkey, and being late in the day after a long day of work, I just kind of zoned out. Next thing I knew, I looked up only to realize that the woman behind the counter was trying to ask me something and I had missed it.

"I'm sorry, come again?" I said to her.

Holding up a big slice of turkey right in front of my face she asked "How's this??"

Without a moments pause, I snatched the slice of turkey out of her hand and slammed it right into my mouth, thinking that she was offering me a sample to taste.

"It's good!" I said. Only to look up and see a look of horror on the woman's face. I glanced around and the others in line were staring at me with the same deer in headlights look. And that's when it clicked. She was asking me if the way she sliced the turkey was good. She wasn't offering me a taste test...

I was too embarrassed to even acknowledge what had just taken place in front of all of these people, so I just awkwardly repeated myself "yup, it's good. I'll do 1lb of that". I then took my actual turkey and quickly walked away from the deli counter.

Years later my family still re-tells that story when we get together and it's always a good laugh. Moral of story: ALWAYS pay attention to the woman behind the deli counter!

that happened to me as well! it was my first time ordering meat from the deli. quite embarassing.

[///M Power-Belgium]

About 5 years ago it was the birthday party from a colleague and I was invited in a disco .
Disco was really dark ...with loud music ,lasers and the usual stuff .
We drank a lot of beers , and finally we went into whiskey..
Think everyone was really drunk and after a few hours (I think) I met a chick , my friends told me after the whole situation that we talked a lot and kissed .

The next afternoon I got texted by Cindy => Where are you ?...and I thought wow , must be the girl from last night !
At that moment I thought back on our date to meet her again on the parking from the disco .
So I jumped in my car and drove 15 miles to the disco , and she was standing there and she was waiting for me , but when I saw her (I'm sorry) I thought wow she's really fugly and I stepped on it and drove away..with the hope that she didn't saw me ..and I thought please God forgive me..
I'm sorry but she looked like a witch with carrot red hair in the daylight...while she was in my memory really beautiful .
Cause was ....I was drunk like shit that night !


While I drove back home I got another text from her beause she saw me with => "Why ?"
All I could do for her was to text her back with => "I'm really sorry Cindy I can't do it"
What else could I do for her ?
I started to think about the whole situation and I felt really sorry for the girl , while I received calls from a couple friends with => And how was it with her while laughing ?

Last year I walked in town ...(and 3 years later)
And who I saw was Cindy with a man and a little baby ..
And you cannot believe how happy I felt for her !

Guess what ...?
Cindy said hello and she smiled to me , and I said also hello and to her friend or husband as well .

Was the whole situation that took years embarrasing for me ?
"YES" it was , while I realise that for her it was probably even worse !
And "YES" I will never kiss a girl again while I am drunk !


Stay sober guys ...

[Axius]

Too many words. Anyone who actually reads just put some cliff notes.

[The Chaddening]

So in middle school, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone in our bonus room upstairs. I had this habit at the time of constantly walking around and messing with random things while I talked on the phone. So its late at night and I am walking around in my boxers messing with this bean bag chair we had in there. It has a zipper down the side of it so I decide to climb into it and start the zipping the bean bag shut. Once inside, I realize that the zipper is on the outside of the bean bag. I am trapped, inside a bean bag, in my boxers, with only a phone. I yell out to my parents. No reply. After about 15 minutes of hyperventilating, I reluctantly call the police.... Who send the fire department. Neighborhood is full of fire trucks only to find out they are there to pull my almost naked ass out of a bean bag chair.

[John 070]

Back in my college days, I would go out to see local bands. One night I'm getting my groove on, dancing to the tunes, and a girl says hey, your #^}^{*{*{^}^}^}^{^{^}^#]^*#<{}^*>*^>%#*<€++€*#€}#+]*}

[bimmette]

Originally Posted by GirthBrooks

So in middle school, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone in our bonus room upstairs. I had this habit at the time of constantly walking around and messing with random things while I talked on the phone. So its late at night and I am walking around in my boxers messing with this bean bag chair we had in there. It has a zipper down the side of it so I decide to climb into it and start the zipping the bean bag shut. Once inside, I realize that the zipper is on the outside of the bean bag. I am trapped, inside a bean bag, in my boxers, with only a phone. I yell out to my parents. No reply. After about 15 minutes of hyperventilating, I reluctantly call the police.... Who send the fire department. Neighborhood is full of fire trucks only to find out they are there to pull my almost naked ass out of a bean bag chair.

If this one is real, it wins

[jgoens]

Originally Posted by Axius

Too many words. Anyone who actually reads just put some cliff notes.

Right? And it was such a dud ending.

[1MOREMOD]

Originally Posted by bimmette

If this one is real, it wins

I had a similar issue only with restraints tied to a bed. Actually did it to myself in preperation for later that day.

[sirdaft1]

Originally Posted by carzaddict

that happened to me as well! it was my first time ordering meat from the deli. quite embarassing.

Hahaha no way! Hilarious.

[sirdaft1]

Originally Posted by GirthBrooks

So in middle school, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone in our bonus room upstairs. I had this habit at the time of constantly walking around and messing with random things while I talked on the phone. So its late at night and I am walking around in my boxers messing with this bean bag chair we had in there. It has a zipper down the side of it so I decide to climb into it and start the zipping the bean bag shut. Once inside, I realize that the zipper is on the outside of the bean bag. I am trapped, inside a bean bag, in my boxers, with only a phone. I yell out to my parents. No reply. After about 15 minutes of hyperventilating, I reluctantly call the police.... Who send the fire department. Neighborhood is full of fire trucks only to find out they are there to pull my almost naked ass out of a bean bag chair.

No. Effing. Way.

[KingOfJericho]

Wow that beanbag one is incredible!

Also, at the deli counters near me they do the exact same thing (holding up the test slice) but they always hand me the piece after holding it up. I actually don't see what the big deal was with that one.

[The Chaddening]

Originally Posted by bimmette

If this one is real, it wins

Oh, its real.

[KingOfJericho]

But why didn't you call a friend and tell them to call the house back to get your parents on the phone?! I mean, the obvious answer is "because I was 12" but I was just thinking of the steps I might take before calling 911...

[1MOREMOD]

Carry a knife

[csu87]

Originally Posted by sirdaft1

I'll kick this off...

This one time I started an embarrassing story thread with the lamest embarrassing story ever. To this day, I still feel the shame and embarrassment.

Dam, that is pretty embarrassing.

[The Chaddening]

Originally Posted by KingOfJericho

But why didn't you call a friend and tell them to call the house back to get your parents on the phone?! I mean, the obvious answer is "because I was 12" but I was just thinking of the steps I might take before calling 911...

Hindsight is 20/20. I was in middle school so none of my friends could drive, and it was the middle of the night. Plus in my irrational mind I was thinking I was going to be found by my parents suffocated in a damn bean bag chair.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by GirthBrooks

So in middle school, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone in our bonus room upstairs. I had this habit at the time of constantly walking around and messing with random things while I talked on the phone. So its late at night and I am walking around in my boxers messing with this bean bag chair we had in there. It has a zipper down the side of it so I decide to climb into it and start the zipping the bean bag shut. Once inside, I realize that the zipper is on the outside of the bean bag. I am trapped, inside a bean bag, in my boxers, with only a phone. I yell out to my parents. No reply. After about 15 minutes of hyperventilating, I reluctantly call the police.... Who send the fire department. Neighborhood is full of fire trucks only to find out they are there to pull my almost naked ass out of a bean bag chair.

but.....you couldve made a knife out of phone by taking it apart!!
mcgyver made a bomb out of chewing gum and wrapper lol

[sirdaft1]

Originally Posted by GirthBrooks

Hindsight is 20/20. I was in middle school so none of my friends could drive, and it was the middle of the night. Plus in my irrational mind I was thinking I was going to be found by my parents suffocated in a damn bean bag chair.

You sir, win.

[scorped]

So, I have one, happened just yesterday. I'm at work and my stomach starts gurgling; immediately I'm mad at myself for having a spinach omelet for breakfast. Of the two closest restrooms, neither is available, so I have to do that clenched-cheek walk all the way to other side of the building. And of course, once I get there, the mens room is occupied. In a panic I do the only thing I can do in the moment; I say eff it and use the ladies room.....


.....and naturally, when I'm done and try to slink out stealthily, there's someone waiting to come in behind me. And, since my luck was already going so great, it happened to be my least favorite co-worker, and the one with the biggest mouth. So, by tomorrow, half the company will know I was in the ladies room, and left it smelling less than rosy.